To self:

Build your business.

Take care of yourself.

No one is going to take care of you.

Manage your time selfishly.

No one's going to fight for you to have time for yourself.

Communication in Leadership

Communication in leadership is such an important thing. Recently I've really been getting alot of feedback and insights on communication in leadership from the people around me.

My friend Weixin was telling me about how he feels that an organization as a whole should continually articulating its mission statement to their staff, so that the staff does not keep just doing admin and lose heart after a while, because the things they do are mundane.

Same thing with any group and with Uni-Y as well. I saw the importance of continually aligning the club in its core vision through sharing again and again with everyone.

That way everyone runs with a vision, and not instructions on things to do. How can a someone to be son to you, like how Timothy was a son to Paul? By you first sharing your heart's vision with them. If not they're just people who do mundane activities, and they're going to lose heart in time.

How many people do you know who actually love doing things without knowing its purpose? Don't blame your members for not running with you. Ask yourself when was the last time you actually shared the organizational vision with them?

Remember: A vision is NOT a number. There are some people who use numbers to articulate vision.

" We want to make $10,000 during the year 2009."

" We want to have 50 members in our group in a years' time."

That's a goal, not a vision. And not expect people to run with a goal. Goals are milestones. They are not vision.

Vision involves you painting a picture of what things can be. What things should be. That is sharing a vision. And people run after visions. People are motivated by visions. They aren't motivated by a number.

So continue to communicate. Remember that communication is the key to life. Communicate not at the speech level, but at the heart level. You'll see that people can flow with you much better =)

Leadership Icebreakers #2

Here's another game on leadership icebreakers you can use to actually start off your crowd on the topic of leadership.

Leadership icebreakers #2: Taking the initiative

The speaker told everyone in the seminar to go around to exchange greetings with five other people in about 5 mins.

After 5 mins, he asked the crowd a few questions:

1. How many people actually did that for five other people? How many did less?
2. How many people did it for more than five people?
3. How many actually went the extra mile and starting asking others for namecards?

During this short exercise, the group was able to evaluate themselves on how they would behave on in a relationship: were they active people who would take the initiative to get to know others, or were they the type that were passive and waited for people to get to know them.

As a leader, we have to learn to take the initiative to get to know people. We are supposed to be the 'hosts' ( as opposed to guests) in a relationship. This means that we take initiative to direct, lead, make the other party feel welcome in your presence.

It means going the extra step in any relationship. Put it this way. People under you most likely won't be the ones coming to you and purposefully getting to know you. In Asian culture, it doesn't work that way.

It's always the superior that initiates the conversation and leads the direction of the conversation as well. So if you're in a position of leadership, you have to be the ones to befriend people, and not expect them to come to you for it.

On a side note: I'm writing this leadership icebreakers for a reason. Of which I'll tell you my friends if you ask me over MSN only. Haha.

Life's been pretty great. When us SMU-CHCers come together to pray in the morning, we can feel really energized and focused for the rest of the day to be productive, effective individuals.

Remember, that when we put Him first in our lives, says Matthew 6:33, that all the things that we need will be added unto us. =)

Leadership Icebreakers

I recently attended a leadership workshop and these are some of the leadership icebreaker games that the trainer played.
Leadership Icebreakers #1:
Communication in Leadership
Needs: A group of people and a ring of rope.

#1: Everyone, with their 2 hands, holds a section of the ring of rope standing up.

#2: The instructor gives an instructions to form the rope into a particular shape, say a circle.

#3: The group attempts to coordinate their movements and then lay the rope down on the floor with the spoken shape.

#4: They are asked by the instructor if the shape is to their satisfaction. The instructor then asks for feedback from the group about their experience in performing the exercise.

#5: Repeat steps #1-#4 with a more complex shape( a dog, flower or what not), but this time round without speaking and only using hand gestures.

#6: Repeat steps #1-#4, this time round without even hand gestures.

This exercise can be used to illustrate the importance of communication in leadership. Sometimes as leaders we don't know the importance of communication our goals and objectives to our members. As such, we get people who give vague results. But you see, you can't blame them. Vague instructions begets vague results.

I've had this experience with Uni-Y, where I didn't know the importance of constant communication of the goals of the organization. I thought once was enough and if I said it too many times, people might find me a irritating. But the converse was true. Upon feedback, my leaders told me that I needed to let them know about where we're heading because everyone was lost about what's happening and all.

Thank God for feedback. Ever since, I've made weekly communication of activities and now I have to go to the next level: making shared decisions as a team regularly.

Communication is the key to life. It's the key to getting any organization moving.

As a leader, you just gotta learn to be sure and exactly sure about what you want. If you're not sure about what exactly you're trying to achieve and that un-sureness gets communicationed to the members, you're not going to get anything right done.

Identity

Today I felt the down down feeling again.

The feeling of you-know-not-what, but you're just down all of a sudden.

But after several incidents like it, I sort of guessed what it was: A judgment on my identity.

You know like, sometimes when people say something bad about you, or criticize your actions; you find yourself reacting more than what is rational. Sometimes maybe just a simple comment about your talking style, your personality, your dress sense and the like actually gets to you more than it should.

Your mind doesn't understand why you feel down, but your heart just does.

It's one of those,"I feel crappy today, but I don't know why."

It's a judgment on your identity. You unconsciously take someone's comment on you as a evaluation or judgment of your identity or who you are.

It usually happens when a person is not clear about his/her identity in God. The person takes the comments of another (usually the ones closer hurt more because we usually draw our identity from our family or close friends) as who they really are.

" Your shirt doesn't match your pants." becomes
" I'm a lousy dresser."

" I don't think that's a good idea." becomes
" You're uncreative and have lousy ideas."

" I think the program needs improving." becomes
" You're such a lousy planner."

or the more vicious ones,

" You purposely want to destroying my plans. You're not helping me and you're against me." becomes
" You have a bad heart that wants to sabotage your friends."

That's how some harmless comments get turned into judgments that actually hurt you.

1) Insecure people make you feel insecure about yourself.
It is the nature of an insecure person to want to criticize, blame or pull down others because doing so actually makes them feel more secure. By having weaker or unconsciously trying to discredit those around them actually makes them feel kinda better.

And it's not their fault. They themselves were faced with insecure or abusive people in their youth, causing them to be insecure themselves.

2) Take your judgment to God only
Only allow God to be your judge. In the end, it is God who created you and therefore only He really knows who you are. You derive your spiritual identity through your spiritual Father.

So listen to Him and Him alone, because only He knows who you are really. And take no criticism from others that are not in line with the Word of God.

Remember, while we are imperfect people, our nature, when we were connected to God, was inherently good. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

And anyway, God doesn't judge you for what you've done wrong because there's already forgiveness in Jesus.

And remember that knowing this in our heads and knowing it in our hearts is two entirely different things. We can proclaim it all the time, but it is through knowing our Heavenly Father that we can truly derive this identity.

As a leader, our secure identity in God helps to be able to take criticism postively and move forward, and in days were we make mistakes, we're able to accept our imperfections and improve without feeling too lousy about ourselves. Because as a leader, it's natural that our faults are placed out there for the world to see because we are the ones making alot of decisions.

Our faults are magnified, and subject to alot of scrutiny and inevitably all the people who want to help you will give you ways to improve and all the people who don't like you talk behind your back about how screwed up you are.

Learn to take all these as comments, and only listen to God on matters of identity. Bring these comments and test them against the Word of God. Listen to those in line with the Word, and forget the rest.

But of course, it means alot more time with God. The question of identity is never in the head, but of the heart. When you really get to know your Heavenly Father, that's when your identity becomes as clear as crystal.

God first.

You know recently the daily morning prayer meetings have really brought me a revelation about putting God first in our lives.

In our finances, we tithe because we want to put God first. So the first fruits of our finances go into the work of kingdom, with our heart to God.

And God promises that when we put Him first, all the things that we need will be added unto us.

So really, the morning prayer meetings we are doing now is a simple thing: To put God first in our day. Like the tithe, by praying the first thing in the morning, either corporately or personally, we are showing God that He is first in our lives, literally.

I mean, how many Christians have you heard telling you all about what it means to put God first in their lives? They come up with complex theories and behaviors that display what it means to put God first in our lives.

But really, putting Him first is about asking Him how you should go about the day, how you should make your decisions before you actually make them! I've seen countless Christians make their decisions and then ask God to prosper that decision!

But why would God prosper what He didn't ask you to do?

I think as a leader, you are put in that position where your decisions matter much more than otherwise. The results are even more obvious when you learn to put God first in your decision-making. Your organization or ministry is affected by that decision, be it from your flesh or from the Spirit of God.

Putting God first is at its heart, a surrender to God. And I always remember what Benny Hinn and Kathryn Kuhlman said: It's about surrender. It's about recognizing that everything you have in your hands; your job, your ministry, your organization really belongs to God, and it's about asking God what you should do with it.

I remmeber what Pastor Kong said about the employee that told him he was too busy with managing his cell groups to answer Pastor Kong's call into missions.

It's the same thing with God. We shouldn't be too busy with managing God's business that when God calls us, we're so caught up with what we believe is 'God's will' that we don't hear Him.

I'm always challenged in this area: Is Uni-Y really God's ministry, or am I secretly making it my own?

The answer can always be found in decision making. Is God the President of the organization, and hence you consult him before making a decision, or are you the president of your own organization/life and you make the decision before asking for His support?

Theories of Leadership

Today we studied the contingency theories of leadership in AMA class.

Charismatic leadership, Transactional leadership, Servant leadership and the like.

One thing that the professor mentioned that really set me thinking about how untrue it is.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I don't think power corrupts. Putting a person in a position of influence or leadership merely brings out a person's character. Leadership is like a magnifier of a person's values and beliefs.

If you don't know how to plan your life, you won't know how to plan the roadmap for an organization.

If you're quiet and don't communicate much, as a leader you will start getting miscommunications and misunderstandings within the organizations.

If deep in your heart, you're really a person who is insecure and needs affirmation from people around you, you'll do things when you're in leadership to glorify or find praise for yourself instead of serving the vision or organization.

Basically, the case of power corruption is really a reflection of our generation's lack of solid values in their lives.

God always brings a person through a period where his/her values are defined, refined, and created. Where he finds security and identity in His heavenly Father, and not having to find it elsewhere.

The problem comes when a person wants a position of leadership, wanting to lord over people to satisfy their insecure nature. That's when you see corruption.

Unrefined values before sending them for the test.

And leadership is a test of character, not so much a refiner of character. As a leader, what you are in your private life comes out and is put up on display for the whole world to see.

I never thought power corrupts, but rather it brings out the corruption of the human heart.

Changing my blog focus

After reading Xinhong's blog and hearing some feedback from people, and after attending leadership contingency theory class fo AMA, I do think that it's better that my blog value adds to people who actually read it.

Rather than talking about what my life is and all, I think its better that I take a reflective and relevational approach to my blog. At least I can share with people my insights in my own leadership journey; through the reading, learning and applying it. =)

Seasons

You know, like I'm beginning to recognize the times and seasons in my life. This season is really only a little reflection time, and like alot of time being out there, doing planning, speaking in front of people, negotiating. Like I've been thrown into battle suddenly.

During this period, it's the season where your character is revealed, as compared to the time of the 'cocoon', as one leadership trainer I met put it, where our character and values are being formed and refined.

Which is why I haven't been blogging. It's just not the season for me to blog. So bear with me la. I know it's not v interesting to hear about how sian I've been, or how long a day's been, or what not. Haha I'm basically repeating the story for thousands of other lives around me.

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Anyway I've just read Xinhong's blog over the past few days and I thought the thing he mentioned about people wanting to change you rather good to dwell on.

I think like people would really make a difference in this world; one thing is that they are in essence, different from the rest. I think that's one fact that will remain.

If we seek to be different from the world, then we must be different. Sounds painfully obvious. But how many people around you say that they want to be history makers or make a real difference in the world, and then, when the next person comes and tell them to get in line with the rest of the world, they do it.

They act the same, dress the same, believe the same. Like that how to change the world.

So we get people who tell other that they're too driven, too intellectual. I get people telling me I should adjust myself here and there to suit them. I should be less emo (reflective). Shoud be this, should be that.

Actually, it's really that somethings we do that make people uncomfortable, because like what Xinhong says; reveals their insecurity. A secure person doesn't mind someone around him to be stronger say, spiritually, intellectually, in strength of character wise, in motivation. In fact he enjoys the fact that there are people around him that he can learn from.

An insecure person however, deep in their heart, sees something like that as a threat. Of course no one admits it la. It happens at the heart level.

I mean of course there are those who just don't understand why people are different from them. Well, God made us all originals mah. I mean that's you hear and preach all the time.

I mean, if we really accept the premise that God did make us all different, why are we so surprised to see someone behaving, believing, liking different things from us?

In my role as a leader, my job is not to find people who are like me to be on the team. My job is to find people with diverse strengths to fill the roles that suit them the best. I'm weak at connecting to people at a group level; fine, I find someone who can to complement me.

When I put a team of 3 on a project, we need people from all 4 spectrums of the DISC personality. Need a D to drive it, an I to connect to the people on a larger manner, S-es for support and connecting one-to-one, as well as C-s to do the detailed planning.

When you're a leader, there's really no space for you to go and think about and complain that people are different from you. You start thinking about where the person fits best in the organism.

As the saying goes, a good team leverages on each other's strengths and cover each other's weaknesses.

You know, to really appreciate this difference, we must in our hearts know what God called us for. If we know what God called us for in our lives. What ministry and calling and stuff, we won't be going around feeling insecure, jealous and ignorant about others' calling.

We begin to understand that God has called us to strengths in different areas. It's almost like saying, I'm travelling path X, you're doing path Y. Who's faster? I don't know, we're not travelling on the same pathway, we have different obstacles, different valleys and peaks. There's totally no basis for comparison.

The fact that society does try to bring us into common ground through our GPAs to grade our lives, doesn't mean we have to listen to it.

We're unique; we walk different roads.

Don't walk another's.

=))

Hai

Feeling that sad feeling again.

It like a constant struggle for my identity.

Anyway one interesting fact about my life now: The person I speak most to in MSN now; I only ever spoken one sentence to her in real life.

" Can I take a picture with you?"

Lol.

Apologies

for not blogging for such a long time. Haha.

I think my life has come to a point where I have very little time to reflect because at almost any moment, my mind is on something to do. Not good.

Anyway I thank God that He's really doing a work in Uni-Y. Last Wednesday we had a breakthrough attendance of 120 people, which is like 3-4 times last year's attendance for a welcome tea.

The problem I'm facing now is really how to handle so many people.

Ah, that's where all the things I've learnt in church and in class comes in. Haha.

Systems.

Checks and balances.

Retention, follow-up.

The pressure is on me. I think this is the time where all the time I spent in my cocoon refining my values, my character is finally showing. Whether I did that time right or not, I think the next few months to a year will show. People looking to me for direction in the ministry.

But I must say it's interesting, tho tiring, to come up with modules to teach people HR management, leadership and how to manage volunteers. To teach people retention and follow up. I think I myself needs training in that area, considering that I'm a natural introvert.

Honestly if you ask me; I rather hide in some cave and blend into the background then go out and speak in front of the crowd. But bo pian. Haha. I'm forced to speak.
Well, thank God for these opportunities, which otherwise I would probably would never do it.

Uni-Y's growing and I'm getting busier with school work as well. But I really hope I still will have time to write those reflective blog posts and entries. Ha...

Maybe I should just cut and paste some from my weekly revelations to my cell group leader. Haha. I will. =)