New Sites

Hey readers of my blog,

I have been working on two other sites so I won't be updating this site for a while now; you can continue reading from my blogs at:

1. Dreams of Your Heart

2.Leadership With You

Monday, December 31, 2007

1 hour till 2008

It's 1 hour till 2008. Time to set new year resolutions and set them in stone.

My dad called me for dinner just now, quite a few times before I actually went down and ate with the whole family. I think we never sit at the same table for months? Maybe a year already. It's just our habit. We eat when dinner is on the table; we don't wait.

So I was late in going for the dinner just now; then after the dinner, my dad asked me: " Is it because you want to pray before you eat? That's why you don't want to eat with us?"

I was erm.. surprised. my prayer before I eat is just a "Thank you God for the food. Amen." I probably close my eyes for 2 seconds and its done. Haha.

But seriously, I think my dad's more religious than me. Haha.

Christianity is not defined by the way things are done, or what things are done. It's not a set of 'things-to-do'. Christianity is a relationship with God. Simple as that. Well, if that's hard to grasp; it's just like having a proper relationship with your Dad.

You relate to him like how you would to your father; respectfully, reverence, obedience and the like. You do what he asks you to, you don't do the things that displease him. That's being a good son. And that's exactly how we be good Christians. Good children of God.

Not complicated. Really, God is not interested in religion. There's no such thing as a way of doing things being 'holier' than the other.

The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. It always boils down to our heart, our intentions, our love in the end.




11.11 pm. 49 mins to 2008.

Back to my new year resolutions.

I was feeling really lonely just now. Ha.. alone at home on 31 Dec 2007 when everyone else is out there partying and having a good time.

I could almost start to feel sorry myself, until I spent my last 1 hour with God. Nothing beats the presence of God around you; the anointing of God on you; the weight of glory in your spirit; the peace of God in your heart.

I remember a year back in the earlier days, there's just this unexplainable joy in my heart. Just feel happy; no need perfect circumstances, God's presence brings that peace, joy in the Holy Spirit. =)

Praise the Lord!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Well,

it's post 96 since the time i started this blog at the beginning of this year. I initially wanted to change my blog because of various reasons, but well, looks like in the end it turns out I've been speaking my mind.


If you noticed...


I'm playing with my html tags here. Haha..
I've managed to upload (finally) another page unto my website! Praise the Lord. It's only one page, but it's a signal of many to come.
There's was this time that I was really not doing much on the web, I was just doing all the content offline, because I know I'll be concerned with playing with the html tags more than getting quality content out. But yeah, currently I have about 19 pages waiting to be uploaded.

Hopefully can get my website up by the beginning of the year =)


And with that...



Honestly to say I've not been doing the best spiritually for this week and the last; i've been praying but it seems that I'm going nowhere. But whenever that happens, I always tell myself I'm on the verge of a breakthrough! Ha..

Praise the Lord. I finally see it coming. Yesterday I sat down at my computer to write an email to my cell group members; suddenly it seems like the anointing is coming back, and I remembered the verse; that he who waters others will himself be watered.

And as today I prayed; I told God, today I make a decision not to waste my time anymore. I want my every moment to be lived right, lived right in Your eyes. I want to die, and let Christ live in me. No longer I. No longer I but Christ.

And as I sat down to finally get to uploading my website, I suddenly feel that sense of purpose coming back to me. I'm getting it back.

One more, today I took a secular book and started reading it; it really spoke to me, and I realized I could say this and admit it, I haven't been doing the best these few weeks, and today I intend to make that difference. No more nonsense. No more wasted days.

I'm going to make today count.

My new year resolutions




Seeing as how people have been writing new year resolutions, I think it's my turn too. I have a knack of setting goals I'll never achieve, and as I take a look at my 2007 goals, the hit rate is .. 50.0%, 3 out of 6 reached . Not too bad lah, I think considering in 2006 I probably got like 0% or something.

Okay, this coming yeah my goals will be: (At least those I feel comfortable enough to say)
- Learn Driving
- Establishing Uni-Y as a premier community service club in SMU ( I don't know how to put a number to it)
- Go gym twice a week
- Quiet time to increase to 1 hour a day ( consistently, I've been doing it, but inconsistently =P)
- Get my webby up to 100 pages! ( Plus unstated target income)
- Intern at a consulting firm

I'll be putting it down on my excel sheet. Haha.. hopefully I can get a 100% hit rate this time. I guess that's about it for now. 2007 has been an amazing year; may 2008 be strength to strength, glory to glory, in cell group, Uni-Y, school, personal life!

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Xmas

has come and gone.

We've had a great time at the church's Xmas Drama Production, truly the drama production is going from glory to glory, from top class to world class. I think it'll be a few more performances before we see these volunteers getting contract offers to act full time. Heh.




I've been a little disoriented in the spirit for a few weeks now. I don't know why but I seem to have lost focused in the things that I have to do; I was really feeling frustrated at some points. It's like I suddenly don't know where I'm headed.

But one thing I know, I just have to keep on keeping on. Stick to the commitments that I've made to the website, to Uni-Y, to church. It may be hard going, but we don't live by our feelings, we live by our commitments. And that's what I want to be: Someone who lives by his word, not by his feelings.

Anyway I spent a long long time with God yesterday, and thank God for his anointing. I know that no matter how disoriented I can feel in my life, or how aimless it seems at the moment, I know that Jesus is still leading me somewhere, albeit one that I have no grasp on now at the moment. Well, for this time, I'll try to find back that focus I had, but at the same time, trust God in this period. =)

My life is not built on my visions or my dreams, they're built on Jesus.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

YMCA Appreciation Night

Had an interesting night at the YMCA Volunteer Appreciation Night.

It was an event to recognize the volunteers who had helped out with YMCA in one way or another, for us it was for the Y-camp challenge we attended last Sunday. Wow.. Last Sunday? Seems like forever, since Y-camp ended. Think it's because I've been in front of my computer all week.. well almost.. I'm definitely not going to retire if that's the kinda life I'm getting. Haha.

Met Steven Chia ( The Primetime morning Channel Newsasia guy) at the dinner. He was really friendly and sat down at our table to talk to us. Albert, the general sec of YMCA told me, "Hey he's sitting with you! Go ask him for whatever you want from him!", then Steven replied," No, I think I want something from him."

Haha.. what would this guy want from me? He's one of the YMCA directors, btw, so he's looking for accountants who might want to help him and his team formulate a scheme to help people financially; those who fall through the cracks, as he puts it.

So yeah,if anyone accountancy trained reading this blog wants to work with Steven Chia closely and help society through the formulating of this scheme, let me know. I put you in contact with him. I myself got quite alot for Uni-Y in my hands so I'm a little commitment phobic now. Haha..
But might just consider it myself.

Anyway really lots of open doors, glad I brought Daniel and Charlene along too. Haha. Think it was a really fruitful night; we invited alot of our campers to our Xmas service as well =)

Anyway that's it for now. Really excited for Christmas Service. Will be superb as usual.. Haha..

Monday, December 17, 2007

Y-camp challenge

Well, it's been 2 days since I finished my Y-camp.

Y-camp is a camp created for the intellectually, phyiscally handicapped people ( People with Cerebal Palsy, Down's Syndrome and stuff) and we acted as facilitators and befrienders for them, helping them with everything from bathing, getting their food, making sure they don't run away from where they are and things like that.

We went to do the high elements, those high rope things that were 10 metres from the ground and various other challenges , as well as dragon boating.

I was allocated to a 13 year old Malay boy named Sharizan, who had Cerebal Palsy and was wheelchair bound. I basically had to take him everywhere, to the bathroom, onto the bus, and all. I think by the end of the 4 days I was an expert at pushing wheelchairs liao. Haha.. but he's an amazing guy.

Okay, short summary of camp done.

But it has been an terrifc experience! I thought it was one of the best camps I have attended. Suddenly I understand why people love Uni-Y FOC so much though I thought it was quite a normal community service camp. When we do community service in this way, there's this side of us that shows, what I would call the fundamental state. Haha..

And I think for alot of people it's a great process of self-discovery, knowing the fact that they have this side in them that doesn't serve just their own needs, but the needs of others. And tirelessly at that. I myself woke up at 530 am cos my boy wanted to do his prayers. After the camp I realized I had the capacity for more. If I could take care of this kid for 24 hours like that, okay minus sleeping time, from eating, to drinking, to serve his requests and stuff, what was it to serve people who only needed me for a while? Ha...

And Sharizan was amazing. I think he made a few people tear. This guy's got faith! Even though he was wheelchair bound, he wanted to try rock climbing! And he did! I think he even did better than some of the girls!!!! Okay la, partly cos got help from the bottom and from the belayers, but nonetheless his spirit is admirable!

And then he wanted to do this wire walk, where therre are two wires for you to walk across 5 metres above the ground without any hand support. I said okay, I mean since he wanted to do it, but when we reached the bottom of the poles, he asked me: "How do I do it?"

Wah.. faith! Haha. He doesn't even know how he can do it and he still wanted to go up sia! Anyway he tried to climb the pole, but he couldn't get up far enough to do the wire walk, but still...

one of my volunteer friends said she teared when she saw that.

So amazing ah. Someone who's physically handicapped dares to try so much, but yet for many of us who are fully okay, don't even dare to go up that rope.

I shared my revelation with my group that night. Haha " I realized that when we say we cannot , it's not a function of what we have, but it's a function of the fear in our hearts." This guy had only his hands to drag himself up, but he tried nonetheless.

Oh, and I shared also to be faithful with what has been given to us. This guy was wheelchair-bound but yet he told me he was participating in olympics next year.Wow. How many of us can even say we are going to participate in olympics in our lifetime? He has been faithful to what has been given to him, what more us who have more physically than he does.



Which actually brings a thought. I feel that people who say that God is unfair when he allows people who are born like that to be such. That's only true if we think that we need all our 4 limbs to live a fulfilling life. But yet how many people with working limbs actually live a good and meaningful life. Sometimes I think they have more than us. When you see these people, they have no fear when they do all these things. They have totally no problem dancing in front of a crowd!!! Ha.. I don't think I can say that myself.



Anyway, I think everyone should go for the camp, through watering others, we ourselves are watered. We see and understand more of ourselves even as we serve them. It had been an amazing time.

I wanna share about God's goodness also. It was through the writing of short notes to one another that I really saw what God had done in my life. Basically at the end of the camp we had to write notes to each other volunteer to say something.

Here are some of the comments about me(unedited for good english. Ha):

"A very impressed person"

"U'll be a good commander"

"Had a pleasant time "working" with you in this camp... you strike me as a pretty meticulous and careful guy who's always god the back of all of us covered... steady!"

"You are a great leader. Always willing to take charge of challenging tasks!"

" You're a very caring and responsible person who probably excels class participation 101. Impressive and rock on!"

"Hey you're a really charismatic person. God bless!" <- this guy left church long ago!! My goodness, he "God bless me". Praise the Lord. Haha And from my subcamp leader: "Hey, thanks for all the help for this camp. You're really good I must say. =) ... "

Okay la, still got nice comments about my singing (lol) but never mind, out of subject here.

But anyway I wrote this really not to boast about myself, but about God. As I read it, I was really bewildered, delightful surprised; I wonder what I had done to deserve that kind of comments. I know if it was the same me 2 years back, I'll probably go under the radar with comments like "Nice knowing you.", "Didn't talk to you much, but all the best!".

But now, with no thanks to me, and all thanks to Jesus...

I was so touched, cos it struck me what God had done for me these 2 years. That Sunday I went to service, I cry already. Haha. Long time never cry in God's presence, but after reading it, my heart really was filled with thankgiving. Glory to God. =)

I really look forward to more of what God can do in my life, and I can truly be an inspiration to the people around me. Like Xinhong. Ha..

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

God changes lives

Here's an amazing video I found from Eileen's blog.. check it out.

Amazing what God can speak through a 13 year old. Such wisdom.
As Eileen said:
"Wisdom does not necessarily comes with age, but with God."

Wow. Another wise word. Haha.






And here's an amazing story of how God changes lives: By Mr Lee Xinhong.
Check his blog at http://fintel.blogspot.com/2007/12/nacl2-i-love-you-my-brothers.html

Ha.. for you who really want to know where this super zai guy (top accounting student with GPA 4.0! NUTS! Haha) gets his motivation from, and even where he started out, check it out. And you'll see that you can identify with his weakness, but as the Bible says, God's power is made perfect is our weaknesses...

Apart from we can do nothing.

Well Xinhong you made the fire burn inside me again. Your testimony is a reminder even for me that God is still working in me as He works through me. Jia you.=)




I recently came back from the Breakaway camp myself. I didn't participate though; I was helping the committee members with their organizing and execution.

I think I had a great experience just helping the leaders and working together with them. People like Sheryl, Xiaoting, Quanhan and Annie..which I probably worked a little closer with.. it's really an honour to work with them. These people who lead a group of youths to young adults are probably much more capable than the people you see around, in University or anywhere else.

But yet, they're not the people whom you see, throwing their weight around, using their influence to get what they want; they're the people who really go down on the ground and serve. Tie balloons la, put up decoration la, clear rubbish la.. but yet it's so much a given that people don't really notice or mention anymore. Such a heart of service, I have no problem doing the most grunt kind of work with these people around. Ha...

I think they all understand and know in their hearts, in the kingdom of God, the way up is the way down.




As I'm typing my blog, got back my Marketing grade. Not v satisfactory. But well.. my mind will be far away from it in about 5 mins. Nonetheless I'm also looking forward for next semester to start. I think the modules I bid for are really interested..

And really after changing my major to Management, I just really think to myself.. am I crazy to do that? It's like quite a stupid thing to do. I can get a stable job in Finance paying $5k a month at least and lots of career prospects, but yet.. I choose to go and do management which probably give me a job that pays much lesser and having less prestige.

Foolishness.

1 Cor 1:27-29
But... God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.

Haha well I shall have no more self-doubt. I don't believe and will not stop believing that life's success comes from grades or from the major that you're taking.

Nonetheless I'm really dissatisfied with where I am know. I just look at the way I spend a day sometimes and I feel really pissed with myself. I can't believe I'm letting time go away like that. I really need to push myself to go faster and work harder. *roar* and after reading Xinhong's blog. Well. ROAR! Run run run.. Haha... I think I'll print out your testimony and stick it next to my com so that I'll get perpetually dissatisfied!! =P


Friday, December 7, 2007

The million dollar question

I recently wrote an email to some of my Exco after my encounter with Yee Loong, my tax professor, who is also the Director of Taxes at Deloitte and Touche.

Instead of re-writing, let me do some cutting and pasting:



I asked him a question," Prof, how important really is grades in the working world?"
I think this is the million dollar question we all want to know isn't it? Haha.

I can't remember the whole conversation but here are some gems I caught:

"When we pick a person for an interview, we don't just look at grades. We also look at the amount of participation in school activities. However, if the person doesn't have much else, we will just use the grades to gauge. It's just good to get you an interview. After that it is really up to how well you do in the interview process."

"We don't care about past performance. While the government sector thinks otherwise, but in the private sector, we pay according to the person for his performance during the year. It doesn't matter if you're a Summa Cum Laude ( First class) or just a person with a general degree. When you're in a job we don't care if you've got 5 As for your A levels or your GPA in university for that matter. You are graded according to your performance for the year."


"In the business and working world, it's all about EQ. How you relate to people, how you talk with people. Intelligence is definitely not a gauge of success."

Well, he just confirmed what I always have sensed in my heart. I just never got around to asking an employer until today. And a successful one at that. He even shared a story:

" I had an old student whom contacted me recently, she graduated 3-4 years ago. She said she wanted to ask me a tax question. I thought she just filed her tax returns wrongly and needed help, but it turns out that her husband ( who was 29 years old) wanted to know if the 12 million dollar business he just sold was taxable! This guy struggled through university in NTU, failed almost every semester and had to retake alot of tests. He worked at ST Engineering for 3-4 years but didn't like the job so started his own business. At 29, he sold a 12 million dollar business. And now at 36years old, he's comtemplating selling a 50 million dollar business!"

Wow.

But the point is: This is how important grades are. This is how important your dean's list is. Your Summa, Magna or whatever Cum Laude. At best, it gets you the interview. That's it.

It's important to work hard. We should. But grades should never be our pursuit. It's a perishable crown. Like a lifespan of 5 years? Your dean's list works for you till you graduate and it ends there.

It is important we excel, but let's put the things of God, the things that are eternal first. It's easy to want to run after what everyone else is running, but what they don't see is that: There's nothing at the end of the race. You can throw everything else ( Your ministry, your family, your relationship with God, with friends) away trying to get that nice looking GPA on your resumé, but there's nothing at the end of the rainbow.

*Cut*




Okay la, for the people who want to work in banks I guess your GPA matters more. But no matter what it is, the relevance of your grades still end at the interview. After that no more use.

Can't believe we're spending 4 years trying to do that. Amazing what culture can disillusion you with.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The power of prayer. Ha..

I just got back my Corp Reporting grade.

Worst grade ever in SMU! 2.5 years of it! 5 semesters.

B-.


Hah... REALLY pulled down my GPA.. 0.5 like that.

But the problem is I was feeling okay. Haha. I was praying 1 hour before my internet got fixed and then before I checked it.

The presence of God was still upon me. Still got the anointing. So when I saw the B-. No sadness. No nothing.

Ha.. Prayer is powerful. Maybe after the anointing lifts you'll start hearing me rant about it. Haha. But not now.

Time for facebook. =PPP

Monday, December 3, 2007

My most borrowed book is…

NOT faith…

NOT on financial excellence…

Not on leadership..

It's....




















a book on DATING: Boy meets Girl! Haha.

And it’s been borrowed until become jiam chai( battle-scarred) already. *Roar* my precious book is gone already, I'm going to bite!


But well, at least it’s getting good mileage. Hah…

Amusing, but practical la. Boy Meets Girl is a book on how a couple should deal with a relationship from the time of courtship till marriage. It touches on how any guy and girl should maneuver in a way that a courtship is purposeful and is moving toward something real, rather than just getting steady for the sake of feeling good and high..

I was telling my cell leader the other day; we’re really all at this age where it’s time for the birds to meet the bees, so it’s best that we address the topic before MTV gets to their heads.

And in fact, I think it’s a good thing that my friends start getting it from me. Haha at least everyone’s trying to find out God’s opinion on their second half rather than trying to understand a relationship through soap operas, fairy tales or MTV, I think it’s good to get a mature, godly perspective on how to approach a relationship.

I remember Xiaohui ( Don’t kill me if you read this) that day was also buying the audio CD by pastor on ‘Choosing the right partner for life’. HAHA. Caught in the act on buying! She told me not to laugh when I saw the title of the CD.

But I’m glad she wants to know, and I asked to borrow it when she’s done. Heh.

Anyway when I thinking about it one day, I realized that there’s one thing that really makes a girl attractive to me. It’s her spirituality.Clarification: Not her religiosity, but spirituality.

I realized that when I see a girl wanting to lay down her life for a cause, making a decision to love God more, taking more responsibility in the cell group. The attractiveness factor goes up. This is what Mingli told me before, that spirituality does make a person more attractive.

So well, anyway, I think that applies to every guy in church in general, not just me. Of course, besides the spiritual side, we look at the natural side as well. Like.. Same height or not, physically attracted to each other or not. The usual. Haha.

But back to it! Yes! It's a superb book for anyone who's ready for a serious relationship, whether you're Christian or not. Don't learn how to do it the wrong way from TV, learn the right way from people who have done it right!

My book's still on loan though, and someone just 'booked' the book again. When will I ever see that book again. Haha...

Thursday, November 29, 2007

It is.....

FINISHED.

I was so happy that exams was ending that in the middle of Income Tax exam when I was going to the toilet I was already smiliing from ear to ear and hopping around. Haha.
Well it was partly cos I looked at the last few questions and thought it was probably a little tedious but still doable that kind. Ha..

And I tore up my cheat sheet. It's the ritual that I do to tell myself: Throw it out of your brain. It's over. Haha. Of cos there's no literal throw-away. It's still somewhere in the hard drive.

Now....

Dot.

Dot.

Dot.

Now what?

You know you always get that feeling directly after the exams. You spend your life ( literally) mugging for the exams that when it's over, you're happy that its over, but suddenly you are at a loss..

"Now what do I do?"... You stare blankly at the wall.

Haha.

I'm glad it didn't happen this time. Okay, maybe it did. Just for 15 mins. I already had a rough plan for what I was going to do. And I'm writing content for my website even as I blog now.

Hopefully by the end of the year something substantial can come out of this. Ha..

But still need some time to get used to it. It's a little weird NOT to have your school work nagging at the back of your head.

Well, school's out. And I got lots of things to do for the holidays. Next semester I'm just going to do a 2 day week. Hopefully I really can do something this holiday and look back and say:

I'm glad I didn't waste it away.

Ah well. Thinking of something inspirational to write, but nothing at the moment.

Oh well.

Tmr, perhaps.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

12.30 am and still doing Corp.

Well, it's getting late; my brain is functioning at 40% probably. Can't do the corp reporting questions anymore.

Anyway though I'm really tired physically, my spirit just got re-ignited again.

I get all motivated and pumped up and ready to take the world! At 1230 am. zzz.

Been reading Xinhong's blog, and honestly, reading his blog always gets me 'pissed'. In the good sense. I get this SUPER holy dissatisfaction of where I am now and how I can do better here and there. *fire*

Then he talk about his sister in Harvest Times ( Now a biannual magazine by our church), which then led me to go and read it. And Yi Lun is really an amazing lady. Reading it, and also from personal account from her brother.*more fire*

Then I remember what I was reading this afternoon on my internet business forums. Then I thought about the founder Ken. He built this business from scratch, and I just get this *roAR-why-can't-I-do-the-same-though-I'm-23? fire* again.

And then I remember God speaking to me about my ministry in Uni-Y this morning. Yeah, though the term hasn't started, but I realized there's alot I have to do. I think about it. I'm not even a cell group leader in the church.

In the least I should match the time and effort commitment of the cell group leaders in the church in my ministry in Uni-Y. Yeah, I say I'm doing something for God in the marketplace, but it's not a position, and I think I'm doing too little now. I can do more.

If the cell leaders can lay down their lives for Jesus in the church, so can I lay down my life in my club so that Jesus can come into the marketplace.

I'm going to make a difference in SMU next year. *more fire*

Guess what: Don't need to sleep liao. 1240 am. Still so on fire. Need to control my thoughts even for my dreams and visions sometimes. Reminder to self: Don't dream too big dreams at night. Can't sleep after that.



Anyway, decided to put a new blogskin.

I decide that from after the exams; it'll be a new season in my life.
Next year I want to see Uni-Y taking off to become a powerful influence in SMU, for the good. I just had a great idea to make money for social entreprise in Uni-Y, which is literally a million-dollar-idea.

I got the connections I need from YMCA. Now to think about it: It's really up to me. Am I willing to sacrifice my time, effort to build a social entreprise that will benefit tens and tens of organizations? Might even take a year or so.

Need to count the cost before I start. Big decision.

Side Note:


I realized that ALOT of people have great ideas. It's always not the question of ability, it's always the question of commitment.


And also to see my Internet business take off. I really wanna become an expert both in the field i'm writing in, and also in the Internet. After all, the Internet is the future. The demand for people who know internet stuff is only going to rise in the future.

Good trend to ride on, I guess.

But greatest obstacle: Laziness. I can't believe I wanna be an entrepreneur when I'm so unfocus-ed. I can get easily distracted by things like facebook, Blog-surfing, things lying around the table when I'm bored with work.

I hope it's just school work that's like that. Such di-focus is only going to lead me to failure. Bah.

Crap. Focus. Focus.

I'm so going to succeed, make a difference in the world, and kick the devil's butt. *Roar*

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Muggerish

Well,

I presume everyone in SMU, NUS, NTU have been mugging hard.

It's that time of the year again!

But thank God. 1/2 of the year's work is done! Haha

And I made sure next semester I'll do all the mods I'm more interested in. And have only 2 exams. Well I guess that means exam mugging will be coming up next time this year only.

Muahahaha.

Anyway I just received a mail from a friend from exchange.

Hi Yihan!

Good Luck for your exam! Stay focused for the period and have a good rest!

Yup, I hope to see u getting the best results for your efforts.. Thanks for inspiring me!

Cheers,

xxx

I was like... hmm... he's been on exchange for 4 months already. How to inspire him? Haha.
But xxx, thanks for the encouraging email anyway! =)

Glory to God.

2 years ago I was anything but an inspiration to anyone. I can't imagine anyone actually getting inspired by me. lol. Ha..

But God changes lives. Yours too ;)

Praise the Lord.

Anyway, back to Corporate Reporting. Slightly behind time. =PP

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Just had dinner

at the National Philantropic Awards.

I got called up by Weixin from YMCA to go for this dinner on Wednesday only at Marina Mandarin cos they got empty seat. Ha..

Actually didn't feel like going, but well, got free nice dinner so go loh.

Wah. And only realized its such a high profile event.

President S R Nathan was the guest of honour. And Vivian Balakrisnam also there. By the way his wife is very pretty. Haha.

Elim Chew, Pastor Lawrence Khong ( Senior Pastor of FCBC)... first time i see him in person, Kit Chan.

And I was sitting on the same table with all the YMCA directors. Wah scarey man. All the uncles.HAHA. Then got President Emertius of YMCA, Dr Loh at my table too. Good thing they all nice people and can chat one. Haha.

And luckily also got May Anne and Weiguang. People whom you can talk about how you're screwed with studies and how you have so much work to do. Haha.

I met May Anne the first time during Freshmen Orientation Camp, and then during the Uni-Y@NUS welcome tea, and then today, then found out she was Leonard, my cell group member's good friend. She's a really chatty person, so well, wasn't hard to break the ice.


But thank God. At least don't have to act all classy and stuff in front of them. Haha.

But on a more serious note. It's really great to see that there's really alot of people out there who have a heart to serve and to give back to society.

I wanna do something more too. Like the corporations who give. The churches who give. The people who give.

And well, seriously I can imagine myself, going for all these corporate functions and acting all classy and stuff, exchanging name cards. I don't really fancy it actually. I was thinking," Wow, I think after a while you really just get jaded with all these. All the award giving. Standing up for guest of honours."

I wonder how many times the President has to do this. And He's the guest of honour at EVERY occasion. So must go up and give prize. Quite sian to think about it. Imagine spending your nights gracing events and giving out prizes. Haha.

But one thing different is that the people here are not for business la, they're here because of community service. Which actually makes them a whole different bunch of people.

Though I still didn't bring my namecard cos I figured no one would want mine. Even if they took it they probably chuck it somewhere. Haha.

Nonetheless, this interesting night has really shown me what Singapore is doing on the community service front and really.. the possibilities are endless.=)

Monday, November 12, 2007

On the bus back ( randomly organized thoughts)

On Tuesday 12 pm and blogging.

I got a class later at 5 pm ,but I figured I should go home because I never have a productive time in school anyway.

I just got back my FIIM mid terms. I got 32.75, which is probably is second highest in class, behind Vince. ( Prof said highest was 32, but prob made a mistake)

Set me thinking.

Am I really that good in finance? I didn’t even really study for it, but I seem to be able to grasp the concepts pretty fast. I don’t read the Financial Times like the people in class do. Everyday they seem to pick up that almost unreadable newspaper and read it.

But my heart is not in fiancé. I may be good at it. But my heart’s not here. They say the best way to figure out your passion, or calling is to observe yourself in your free time. What do you do on your free time that could possibly be ‘monetized’?

Well I find it exciting to actually read on entrepreneurial strategies, marketing strategies for small business. I read everyday on these things. I buy those books.

I guess you could say I got a head for Finance but a heart of an entrepreneur.

I was thinking that being an entrepreneur is very much like being a Christian.

There’s no rest day for you. There’s no such thing as taking a break from your business or from being a Christian. You are either a Christian 24/7 or you’re not. You’re either working on or thinking about your business( esp for start-ups) or you’re screwed.

We can’t approach entrepreneurial business with a 8-5 and rest on weekends mindset. We can’t think to ourselves that we have ‘arrived’. If the business ever stops improving, it’s only a matter of time that it gets taken out by competitors.

Maybe that’s why I wanna become an entrepreneur instead of going into the finance world. It’s more exciting and risky to be an entrepreneur. There’s more passion in your life. More thrill.

I figured, seriously speaking, I can live on less than 300 bucks a month. So why worry about putting food on the table now. I think can leave that concern till after marriage, house, car and kids.

I think I’m too young to go into the corporate world. I don’t feel I’m made for it. I can’t imagine myself doing something 8-5 ( or more in the banking industry which everyone seems to want to go into in SMU). Especially if it’s anything to do with valuation, discounting cashflows, and things which I think are a little well… no value add to a society in general.

I know I might cause a small debate here, but really what kind of true value do we give to society in our financial analysis? I look at our financial analyst report for our Corp Reporting Project. It’s purpose is to tell rich people where they can park their money. And where did we get our assumptions and final valuation of the stock? From other financial analyst reports. Abit duh. Our assumptions are tuned in such a way that it gives the stock a ‘nice uncontroversial’ value. Meaning people won’t go and argue about it being too high or too low, but just take it as it is. But back to the point.

I ask myself: What kind of value do I really create if I were a financial analyst? Is someone’s life going to be better because of my existence? Am I an asset to someone? Well maybe a rich individual who wants to know if he can get 12% or 10% on his million.

But then again, if it were a certainty, I would have created a value to him. But the thing is financial analyst reports are NEVER accurate. The markets are really unpredictable.

So what I am creating in society? Well given the fact that the banking industry is not just made up of financial analyst. But still,…

I want to be someone to creates value. The whole financial market is really a ‘derivative’ market in the sense that it builds upon businesses. Without businesses, the financial markets won’t exist. Okay, maybe the foreign exchange markets can still exist, but even the currencies’ value are built upon businesses in the country.

I’m not too well versed on the financial terms to say this, but I find being in the business realm to be more interesting than the financial market realm. Granted, the financial markets exist because there’s trillions to be made daily, but I would rather be a person that builds that value, who builds that company..

Than the person who trades, invests, bets on that company.

To the society in general, I believe that a person with the ability to build a business from the ground up is more valuable than one who say, knows how to trade money and make profits from it.

Well. So in summary…

I just want to justify my change from a Finance Major which EVERYONE is going into, to a Management Major.

Sure. No 6000 dollar job from bank. But would I sell the opportunity cost to live my life to the fullest, my time for God every night, my ministry in church, the fulfillment of knowing that I’m doing what I love EVERYDAY of my life, for even $20,000 a month.
Nah.

Money comes and goes.

Time runs out.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Carola: Invincible

Carola from Sweden visited our church today and performed. Wow, her voice is just AMAZING. So power..



For those who don't know who she is.. maybe you'll know the songs she sang. Haha.



'oh Micky you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind...'



And..



'I believe, I believe in love, and like the stars above

They shine, let it shine over me'



She sang this song called Invincible. Check her out. She's just.. WOW!' She was like holding the mic quite a distance from her mouth, but the voice over the speaker was still like more powerful than most people! Haha.







Never gonna run away
I’m not gonna hide
I know just what I feel inside
Nothing’s gonna make a change
Forever with you
I’m always on your side
You’re always on my mind

Invincible
One love supreme
Unbreakable
One land of dreams
Two hearts unite
Insatiable
This love tonight
Invincible

Love is like a miracle
Invading your heart
When you’re struck, you know are
When it’s comin’ over you
You won’t let it go
I’m always on your side
You’re always on my mind


Invincible
One love supreme
Unbreakable
One land of dreams
Two hearts unite
Insatiable
This love tonight
Invincible
I’m always on your side
You’re always on my mind

Bought her single on this song.

Haha. Couldn't get her autograph and a picture cos was helping out at the bookstore, but got a friend to help out. She really took her time to get to know each person she autographed for: chatted them up and stuff. Really nice of her.


Most importantly. She loves God. And she says. GO Bible school! Haha...
( She was in Bible School under Pastor Ulf for two years.)

Friday, November 9, 2007

This is interesting.

BG George Yeo, the Minister of Foreign Affairs with all the VIPs is 5 metres from me with so many people crowding around him; ( Channel NewsAsia too.. )

He just finished a forum. And I'm at my seat here doing my own stuff.

Like he's invisible. Haha.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Reality: The Limiter of Life

Pastor preached a great message on this a month back or so. I thought it was a superb message and recently during lunch time, I got a greater revelation about it:

I was eating lunch with Sharon, Lynette and Wenting( I don't usually eat lunch with them) and then it suddenly hit me:

Our reality is really determined by the people around us.

When I was doing my business stuff. I was in the forums and I realized that I was measuring what was possible by what people had done. What was a reasonable time to successfully do up one. How successful the business model can be based on the people who had 'done' it.

But I took a step back. And during prayer, I felt God put it in my heart: Why am I measuring reality based on what people had done?

I'm sure we've all heard the sayings:

Birds of a feather flock together.

If you want to fly with the eagles, don't hang out with the turkeys.

Psalms 1:1
Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;

In SMU, there's a culture that says:

Finance is the way to go. It's where the money is.

Your value as a person is determined by your GPA.

It's not something said out in the open, but yet in between the lines of every thing said.

It is only recently that I decided to step back and spend more time with God. Suddenly it really hit me.

Who said that?

Who said that finance is the way to go for career success?

Who said that your value to society is determined by GPA?

And for that matter...

Who said you couldn't be a millionaire by 30? by 25 for that matter?

Who said you can't be Nobel Prize Winner by age 30? ( For that person . Haha You know who you are)

Who said you can't be a real history maker like Pst Kong, Pst Yonggi Cho, Mother Theresa, Henry Ford, Warren Buffet or Bill Gates?

Who said that?

It is when we look at the world then we make a gauge on what is acceptable and what is reasonable, and what is impossible.

Since only one or two has done it, therefore, it is reasonable to say I won't be able to do it.

BUT when we look to God in prayer, I ask myself... really, what is impossible?

Recently when I withdrew myself from school, from mixing around with people and spent more time with God. I realized, there's only one voice we should really listen to:

The still small voice, above the noise.

We got to spend more time with God. The visions He gives us are even beyond our dreams. Beyond what we consider possible.

Is there such a word 'reality' in His vocabulary?

And too, watch carefully the people we spend most of our time with. The undertones of 'reality' spoken between the lines of every sentence. That's the power of culture. And the power of DOING culture. DEFINING culture.

They define 'reality' for you.

What is your reality?

Saturday, November 3, 2007

Real Honest Thoughts

I was walking home just now alone after a marketing meeting.

The Christian life isn't easy.

It's impossible without God.

I get a 360 degree mood swing if I don't pray.

As Christians, our fight starts from the time we wake up, till the time we sleep. I fight. From the morning till the night. In the realm of thoughts especially.

In a world where everything is screaming at you. Your friends around you challenge your stand on truth. You are tempted to take short-cuts in your work by compromising on your integrity.
The amount of sex, violence, gossip, revenge you watch on TV doesn't help.

Our input determines our output. Whatever goes into our mind, will make us or break us. When we start our day, everything in the world screams at you to give up on your values to God.

Why are you putting up with her? Just do it your own way.

Why are you wasting your time? Just fake your information and you'll save alot of time.

Nobody cares about you. Don't bother trying to be nice. Just do your own thing.

Do FINANCE! It pays well. You'll get 5000 bucks at least a month working in a bank. It's okay you don't really like it. It's the pay that counts.

And when I get home...

Sis says: Ma give us 12 dollars for our dinner. She ask you to go and eat the leftovers.

Go and scream at her! How can she be so uncaring. Can't she see I'm so thin already?

...

Don't pray tonight. You're so tired. Just go and rest. Just sleep. You can do it tomorrow morning.

But the voice of God speaks through in a still small voice every time.

No. Yihan. Flow. My perfect will for you is to be under cover. It doesn't matter you're not getting anything to do. Just flow. That is My will for you.

No. The truth is more valuable than anything else. Don't give it up for anything.

Yihan. I know you're busy. Learn to love. This is where you are really tested. Do you really love people? Love them, as I have loved you.

Yihan. Do something you love. Don't chase the money like everyone else. The topics on entrepreneurship and SME consulting spark something inside you, don't they? Go and do it. Don't follow the crowd.

Love your mother. Be nice. Don't take it to heart...

Yihan, come to me and stay with Me for one hour. Pray. Stay in My presence, and your strength will renew.

--------

The Christian walk is not an easy walk just based on this. In a night alone I can get so many thoughts running through my head. And as Christians, we fight not in the natural, but in the spiritual.

We measure every single thought against the Word of God. We know whether our thoughts are pleasing to God when we know His character.

We spend 4% of our week in church. The real battle is not in church. It's outside of it. You can act so holy in church, but behave like a total spoilt brat outside. Serve in church, and asked to be served outside the church. What's the point? What's this Christian face we put up when we can't live it 24/7?

Integrity. You are one outside, and inside.

The battlefield of the mind, as Joyce Meyer calls it. The fight's 24/7. It's not only on Sunday. It's not even on Sunday. It's Monday to Saturday, where everything that is evil, immoral, lewd that screams out at you. That's where the battle is.

By the time you're done with everything, you'll find you're so tired you have no energy to pray.
Guess what, the devil got you for that night.

Speak to it.

Fight back.

24/7. It's not going to end.

That's why we need God. Without God, this kind of battle is impossible to fight. We need the Holy Spirit. Without Him, we become thankless. We become self-righteous. We become judgemental. We forget that Jesus died for the whole world. Not for the Christians only.

That's why I can't go without prayer. I'll lose.

As we grow in God, so does the Devil stand in opposition against us. He distracts us and cuts us away from our Source. That's when he can tear us apart.

-----

That's why I know SOT is such an easy time. Sure, we're tired. But we've got the advantage of godly people around us. We've got the advantage of positive peer pressure. Everyone's doing it. I can do it too.

The real battle is not in SOT.

It's out here.

----

You know. As we grow in God, we find less people we can confide in. Not many people understand and can give the right counsel. Not many people are strong enough to value truth of God above the friendship. Who will tell you things as they are. Who will screw you when you're the one at fault. Who won't try to agree with you. Who won't give advice contrary to God's Word. Who understands your heart. Not many. Few. And fewer. And fewer.

Where can we turn to?

God.
--------

It's 1am now. I haven't prayed for today. I feel so lousy I don't feel like.

But no. The devil is not winning today.

Today, I win.

--------

No more.

No more procrastination.

It's time.





Wednesday, October 31, 2007

P & L

I recently drawn up a expense sheet to track my personal expenditure, because at some point in September I got the

"Where did my money go?" problem.

So I decide to go back to recording my expenses.

And for the fun of it, and to apply my accounting knowledge, I made a Monthly Summarized Income Statement so that I know where my money went.

So here's the statistics!

Lin Yihan
2007 Oct Income statement
( All percentages are % of income/allowance)

Food - 39.38%
Transport - 14.54% ( 4.05% was unnecessary cos I took cab. Ha)
Phone Bill - 13.54%

I call these 3 -> Operational expenses ( Ha, now the accountants are really going to kill me)
Totalling: 67.46%

The rest are better not to be revealed in cyberspace. Haha.

But I got
BLESSING expenses ( Stuff related to church, gifts to people)

INVESTING expenses ( Stuff related to education, books and CDs)

LUXURY expenses ( Clothes and Accessories, Electronics, and others) -> This was 0% by the way. Haha. I know some people can't believe I put clothes in the luxury expenses...

OTHER expenses ( Like in Income Tax, this is the Section 10(1)(g). Everything not covered goes under here. Ha)

I accrued the expenses on 2 books and a Times Card Membership I just bought to November.
( Means I treated them as Nov expenses instead of Oct expenses even though I spent them in Oct).

Haha, now the accounting students are really going to kill me.

Monday, October 29, 2007

God's love

I was just having a conversation with a friend some time back:

"Oh, I could never be a Christian. I'm not qualified. You guys(church friends) are too nice!"

It's very flattering to hear that ... but I just had to clarify with her.

I think alot of people think that because as a Christians, they have to be nice people. They have to help people. They have to care for other people. And since they feel they're not very nice people, therefore they can't be Christians.

That's not true.

I'm not a nice person because as a Christian I have to. God never forces anyone to have to.
It's a want to.

When we spend time with God, God just pours out His love so much that there is an overflow of it. He makes us want to be good to the people around us as we experience His love.

Hmm, think of it this way. Like it's always generally the people who have loving families; they tend to grow up to be more caring, more loving toward others. But for most Asian families our parents are not like that. Another example will be girlfriend/boyfriend. Like when you first get attached, you're just smiling from ear to ear ( until reality strikes. Ha).

In God's terms, it's called the joy of the Lord. The radiance you see in some people. People who are smiling from ear to ear everyday that it makes some people even irritated. Haha. People who are so passionate about life and every single thing that they do. ( I'm thinking Xinhong here. Haha)

Well, though God's love is incomparable with human love, but we can get a rough idea about what it means to have the love of God in our lives. It's not the same because people can love for the wrong reasons, seemingly 'love' for something in return, but God's love is like a father's/mother's love. Unconditional. ( Though even not all parents would love unconditionally)

People may change, but God's love remains the same. From our youth to our old age.

So in summary: Christians don't try to earn their salvation by doing nice things. They do good things because of what God has done for them already.

Anyone is qualified. Ha..

Sunday, October 28, 2007

My second second Birthday: Two years in Christ.

I refer to my entry written exactly one year ago in my older blog:
http://yihan90.blogspot.com/2006_10_01_archive.html

Seriously if you don't have time don't go and read it. It was quite a long post. But I think if I read it now I might not recognize myself. Ha..

( Edit: Okay, I just went to take a look at my older blog post. Nah. The theology is still the same. Ha. My thinking in those areas are pretty much the same. The difference now is I don't make it into some theory or theology, but I have applied those beliefs into my life: on purpose, on love)

( FYI: Most people closer to me today don't know the existence of the previous blog which I stopped writing after Jan 2007. Well, I guess it's a good place for me to track my progress from the first few months as a Christian. Feel free to read it.)

I think I've really grown alot since Oct 29 2006. Not so much in the area of passion, I remember as a younger Christian I was really excited about everything that God had to offer and I would love praying and spending time in His presence. Not that I'm old now. Ha. 2 years is not old, typically.

I still am around there, maybe I have dipped abit in this area. But I definitely have grown to depend on God much more. I now really can't live without prayer. Though many times I still lapse in this area and don't pray coz too tired. I need to work on this area.

And I've grown in the area of wisdom and self-confidence. I wouldn't call it self-confidence. I'll call it God-confidence. My confidence is not found in myself, but found in God. It's not about who I am or what I can do, but who God is and what He can do.

The fact I can speak without stammering, without making a fool of myself like last time. Without getting the jitters like last time. I remember in Year 1 I used to be SUPER nervous when I go up to speak, so nervous that the audience knows.

But there's just this peace in God. The peace, the serene confidence that nothing can stand in your way. That I can do all things through Christ. Actually now I still do get a little nervous, and stammer sometimes, but that's because of inadequate preparation. Ha...

Anyway I heard nervousness is good. Keeps you on the ball and from complacency.

As for wisdom: I guess it's through experience in dealing with people. Through extensive reading and then seeing it happen in real life actually helped me in growing. I love reading. There's a thirst for greater knowledge, greater revelation inside me. Everyday nowadays I'll be reading something without fail. On top of the Bible lah. That one don't count.

But I don't just do reading. I fill my iTunes with podcasts on topics from sermons by Pastor Phil, Pastor Ulf, Ravi Zacharias, Joyce Meyer, and topics like Marketing, Internet Marketing, Harvard Business Reviews. Though I must confess I have only listened to the sermons for now. Haha.. they're just soooo good.

And I notice I observe and learn from people rather quickly. The leadership methods of the cell group leaders in the church ( who are excellent leaders by the way).

And I must say God has really blessed me with leadership wisdom when it came to handling the Freshmen Orientation Camp. Fyi, it was my first ever big thing that I was in charge in. ( I used to be super introverted, lacked self-confidence kinda guy) And praise the Lord, it went pretty okay, thanks to the whole team also, but glory to God!

Hmm, what can I say?
I seemed to have run out of things to share.
Oh, School of Theology. I think that's the place that really marked my second year as a Christian.

I can't exactly pinpoint which part of me did SOT change, but one thing I guess: Building up of my spirit. All the praying and praising God in the mornings had surely increased my spiritual capacity.

The fellowship was great. SOT is really a heaven on Earth. Not because it was free from trials and troubles, but because it was filled with people who loved people, and people who loved God.

Well, here comes Year 3 as a Christian. 2 months after Year 3 as an SMU student. Haha. New visions, new dreams, greater capacity, greater faith.

My prayer for myself is that I'll achieve one of the dreams which I have had in my heart for a few months this year. I'll really chiong for that dream this year. Ha..

BUT also, that I learn to become more loving. More concerned about the people around me. More caring about the people who are hurting, and those who don't show. In the midst of 'chionging' toward the vision, I don't want to lose the more important part.

Simply to love the people around us. To be that star-thrower.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Revelation

Today Vincent gave me a revelation.

1.5 hours before my Corporate Reporting test, I was in front of my computer playing some mini games.

"Doing your website?" He asked from the other side.

"No. Playing games."

Revelation. Ha i realized I really could have been doing my website instead of wasting my time playing games. Who says that just because your test is 1.5 hours away you cannot be doing anything else but study.

I was after all.. playing games. Ha..

But well, I guess it went pretty okay. Got a few careless mistakes cos I had kinda of headache when I stepped into the seminar room. Couldn't do it with a clear mind. Might be coz its at 12 pm and I didn't eat my lunch before that. So abit kinda cannot concentrate.

But I realized that for me, I dunno about the rest, but when tests come, I tend to lock myself in this mental prison. That tells me. No you got a test, you aren't supposed to be doing anything else. You got a test. You got a test.

So what! I'm going to do whatever I wanna do. Balanced with studying of course.

Pardon my mention of studies so much. Ha. I really am trying to figure everything out. How to put God first. How to give all the worries, stress, frustration to God. It's one thing to say it, it's totally another to live it. What practical actions can I take to give everything to God.

I gotta break out of this mental model ( according to Xinhong's lingo) or this mental prison. In the end, most of my time isn't spent studying. I probably need like to study 1 day before, look at the past year papers to do reasonably well. I should leave it as that, instead of thinking about it for the whole week. Not doing much of anything else productive. I end up playing computer as a 'form of relaxation'.

In the end, the test is done. Life goes on. I shouldn't let it affect me so much. God help.

I'll do better next time. ( in handling this, not the grades. Ha)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

A phenomenon

Now that I'm out of it. I just wanna share something really interesting about myself that I noticed since the past week.

I'm having 2 papers this week. One tmr, one on Friday. They are the major accounting modules. Income Tax and Corporate Reporting.

I noticed that because of these two papers. I haven't been doing much else except thinking about it. Like "Oh I can't do A now because I have a test next week. Oh I can't do B now, I gotta put it aside till after my test."

It's like the test is some sorta 'milestone' kinda thing. And yesterday I got a little down because my brain just refused to take in any information about Income Tax. I took 1 hour to get myself ready to start. And then 10 mins reading and I was gone. Ha.

I'm not even sure why I'm like that. And then I allow myself to waste the time away. Watching my bro play computer. Blogging. Ha.. But refuse to do the more productive things thinking that I should leave it after the test.

It gets a little irritating when it's like that. Till today morning suddenly I thought. God. I just wasted 4 hours probably playing the computer and doing nothing productive. When I could have just done the things that I thought should be left after the test. Then I thought. Yes. Why not. I should just continuing building my website since it excites me to do so. I should continue to read books since it interests me to do so.

Why should life stop because of two tests! Haha. What's with me ah. Overly concerned about it?

It seems counter-productive. I end up wasting more time.

And even better:
Corporate Reporting is 8% quiz with 12 MCQs.
Income Tax is 10% quiz which we can bring in our cheat sheets.

It's really not a big deal you know. Now that I'm one day before the Corp Reporting Test; I'm wondering, why did I let so much time go to waste just because of that stupid 12 MCQs. I'm just going to forget about it anyway.

For me. After I'm done with a test I usually throw it aside from my mind. Even after I get my results, after one look I'll just put it aside in my mind, no matter the marks. I figured life still goes on whatever the marks is anyway.

And yet I'm wasting time getting overly concerned about it. There's just this dark picture in my mind. Like there's no life beyond the two tests. It just seems so vague, so unknown, so ... I dunno how you describe it.

But when I really think about it. I imagine myself in front of the paper. It's actually quite okay what. Like 1000 times before. Argh.

I'm getting a little headache again. The kinda headache from studying too much( And I haven't studied alot)In this case, from trying to absorb corp reporting stuff. I think I'm just going to retire for the night at 8 pm. Have a good read and a good quiet time with God.

Okay, maybe I'll scan through the MCQs questions from homework later. Ha..

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Great message

Wow. Great weekend in church with a great message. And superb drama too.



I think today Pastor Tan really addressed alot of things in my heart. And felt challenged to be more loving to the people around me. What touched my heart, or spoke to me:



1.The Spiritual Gap and Love Disparity.

Sometimes when people get too spiritual, they might becoming 'spiritually elite' and become judgemental of people who are different and less spiritual. The spiritual become more spiritual and the weaker people backslide. Sometimes we just have to give people time.

We're not a church for the spiritually elite. We're a church for everyone from every strata of society.



2.In the natural, we should be gentle and loving to all around us, but in the spiritual, we're aggressive, and we wage warfare.



3. The star thrower. It seems that this story has been shared many times in church. But nonetheless this is actually my first time hearing it in church. ( I've heard it elsewhere)..

There's this little boy walking on the beach.

And as he walks along the seashore, when he sees a starfish on the sand, he picks it up and throws it back into the sea.



He does it repeatedly as he walks along the beach.

A man comes along, observing the boy.

He's puzzled at what the little boy is doing, so he asks the boy," Little boy, what are you doing?"

The little boy answers,"Oh, I'm saving the starfish. When the tide comes in, the starfish gets washed up and if they don't get put back into the sea, they'll die."


The man laughs and said,"Look at the coastline, there's thousands and thousands of them, how can you possibly save all of them?"


The little boy smiles. He bends down, takes another starfish and throws it into the sea.
"I may not save every starfish on this beach, but to that one..
(He points to the one he just threw in)


I make a difference."


Oof.

I don't know how to describe the feeling as pastor shared that story. Convicted. Challenged.

We may not change the world in this lifetime, but everyone should be saying," To that friend, I made a difference."


We change the world 1 soul at a time. =)

Sometimes we just got to slow down from the busy-ness of life and look around. Maybe we'll notice that someone is signalling that deep in their hearts,they're saying:" I'm hurting.."


what a message.


Pastor then showed a video of the opening ceremonies of the Sun's primary schools in China. Some of the kids there were crying as Sun was passing out the free bags she bought for them. One of them even kneeled down and cried as Sun passed him the bag, and Sun went down with him to comfort him.



I was really touched. Everytime I see what Sun is doing, I tell myself: One day I'll be part of this . But it all starts from home. I've got alot to do in Uni-Y. Ha...


One day I'll do what she's doing. She's such an inspiration.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Spent the afternoon

with doctors. Ha..

My marketing reserach consulting job brought me to Camden Medical Center for a seminar on clinical management. In layman's terms, how to manage a clinic.

Was listening to a workshop and kinda dialogue about the general problems that doctors face. In one sentence: Doctors are not managers. They need alot of work in that area. Ha... Their problems are generally staff problems. How to confront staff, how to retain good people, how to create a compensation package that is fair.

So we were the only SMU students and non-doctors among the crowd. It was pretty weird, especially when they were doing the introductions.

And we ended the day by playing a team building game with the doctors. V weird. The doctors are all like 40 - 60 years old that type one. Like playing team building with your dad and uncles.

Ha...

Friday, October 19, 2007

I give up

bothering about studies.

Not that I don't care. But well. Whatever.

You know, I was thinking of describing the peace of God on my blog. But I was thinking it was really hard to describe. But i'll try anyway.

Okay, the peace of God goes like this:

In a situation where everyone's tense. Mugging their notes. 5 mins before exam. Oh no! Forgot to read that Chapter 7 notes. Come, let me take a look at it!

In this situation, the peace of God is like a ...... in the midst of a !?@?!@!?!@.

There's this stillness in your heart.

Like for example, next week I have two tests, one for Corporate Reporting, one for Income Tax. Both I suck at it. Seriously. And I haven't started studying. I think I just might be screwed. Haha.

But ... there's this stillness in your heart.

Imagine a cave in some far far away land. And then it's so quiet you hear a water droplet fall unto the ground.

It's like the world around is falling apart. Then there's just this ' .......' in your heart.

Cool =) I love God.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Someday

Great song, great lyrics from Hunchback of Notre Dame ( I think). Only caught my attention recently. Ha..

Someday
When we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray
Someday we may yet live
To live and let live
Someday
Life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
God speed
This bright millennium
On its way
Let it come
Someday

Someday
Our fight will be won then
We'll stand in the sun then
That bright afternoon
'Till then
On days when the sun is gone
We'll hang on
If we wish upon the moon
There are some days dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday
When we are wiser
When the whole world is older
When we have learned
I pray
Someday we may yet live
To live and let live
One day, someday
Someday
Life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
Greed will not pay
God speed
This bright millennium
Let it come
If we wish upon the moon
One day
Someday
Soon

One day
Someday
Soon

I make a decision today..

to not let school dictate my life.
I don't care if its Week 9.

I'm still going to start my exercise regime tmr morning.

I'm still going to for cg and church on the week before exam.

I'm not going to let studies affect my relationship with people and with God. There are things important in life than getting that GPA.
As my Creative Thinking Prof says, "so what if your exam is tmr, life still goes on, you know." lol.

Not saying that we should slack off in studies, but I believe that excellence and hard work coupled with balance in our life is more important than grades. I have always frowned on last minute work, or last minute mugging. I think it's a reflection of a lack of planning and organization in our lives; there must be a consistency when it comes to this.

It's surprising how much weightage of our lives on things affecting our GPA ( 80%?) when the truth is after our first job, its importance drops to o.01% or something.

I'm still trying to figure how much importance should I place on studying. In the end there must be a balance in everything. I will not take this to an extreme.

While the Bible believes in hard work ( Proverbs: In all labor there is profit) but in studying really hard? the Bible says: Much study is wearisome to the flesh." Haha. Conclusion. Work hard, but don't study too hard.
----------------------------------------------------------

I have begun to read slower. I used to rush through books, one after another.

I have realized that I should take extra focus when it comes to reading. Because after all, the words that we read reflect the experience and character of the author. By reading any sentence carefully and studying it, we can actually ascertain the person's driving philosophies in life and value system.

"What kinda person would say such a thing as this? What has he/she gone through to be able to make a statement like that?". If we are sharp enough, we can actually catch more from in between the lines than the lines itself.

And then I realized...

That's how they asked us to study the Bible. Ha..

Every verse in the Bible reflects a partial face of an omnipotent God; His character, his value system, his principles.

Which is why we can't just scan through the Bible. There's much more to God when we begin to search beyond what He says, to why He says it. Every sentence is like a window into His heart.

----------------------------------------------------------

Today I just had an interesting conversation with a pri school boy in church.

He was looking at the chains and necklaces in the bookstore and I sounded him out. It went something like this:

"Oh, you buying for someone you like ah. This one is nice.."

"No lah.."

"Yes right, aiya, must be someone you like lah.. "

"Don't suan me leh.." He smiles.

Haa... got him.

"So yah, this one is nice. It's a heart."

"No lah, a heart is too obvious. She'll know that I like her."

"It's okay one, see this one can change shape."( There's a necklace in the bookstore that you can twist to change it from a heart to a cylindrical shape.)" so you just give her like that ( cylinderical shape) and then she will twist it and realize its a heart!"

So I leave him for a while.

He comes over and tells me a short story about how the girl he likes fancies his friend but his friend don't want, because the friend says he will whack him, but the friend got together anyway but he has no interest in the girl .. blah blah blah...

"If I want to buy the necklace, with the Membership card, how much can I get it for?"

"You can get it at $11.70."

"Okay I'll ask one of my cell group members to lend me their card"

"But if it's the person's birthday month, you can actually get it at $10.80 because there's 20% off"

"So if I save $0.50 a day, how many days will it take to buy"

"About 4 weeks."

"But I get more on the weekends, about $2."

"Then you can get it in about 2 week plus."

"Never mind. I can just ask my dad for money. 5 dollars. 2 dollars. Then I can get it in no time."

"Noooo.. Cannot like that. You remember how God appreciates our offering no matter how little it is? What God is more interested is in your heart when you give the offering right?? So you cannot just ask money from your dad. It's not sincere. You got to slowly save, then it really means something, correct or not?"

"Hmm okay. So I will save 50 cents a day and then get 2 dollars on the weekend then can get in 2 weeks plus. Or maybe I will save extra 55 cents a day by walking to school. Then I can save $1 a day. How many days will that be?"

AWWWWWW... talk about sacrifice!

"You can get it in a week plus then.."

"Actually I already have 4 dollars in my pocket. I can buy in one week. But means I cannot eat today."

awwwwwww...more sacrifice!

"You can actually walk home from Expo. then you can do it faster. " HAHA. Evil me.

So he walks back to the necklace section and browses around."

" I know what, for the chain I want for myself, I'll ask my dad for money, and then the OTHER necklace I'll save up."

"Correct."

I'm impressed. TEACHABLE! Hahaha...

Friday, October 12, 2007

Now I know

I'm really living by God's grace.



I was supposed to have meeting on Tue, have 4 meetings on Wed, 4 meetings on thursday, 3 meetings on Friday. Crazy. Ha..



All these consisting of: School Project Meetings which is the majority, Meeting up with friends, Cell group meeting, Marketing Research Consulting Job Meetings.



Then I didn't spend alot of time with God because I was too tired.



And I almost fell apart on Friday! There was this spirit of heaviness on me, and I didn't even know why I was feeling very lousy, I tried to think about it, but it just doesn't make sense, and all the negative thoughts starting feeling my head. It's really spiritual warfare..



Well now that I did yesterday, it's much much better. I really cannot live without prayer.



There's this life in the Spirit, that we by our human strength cannot live. For the past few months I really have had little time for rest, and been busy throughout, but there's the peace in my heart that keeps me together,even now i'm beginning to understand what it means to walk in the Spirit, to live under the anointing of God. There's this rest, this peace... that no matter what happens out there in the world, you're undaunted, unfazed by it.



I remember when God gave me a revelation regarding Uni-Y to fulfil the cultural mandate, I knew it was going to be a time of trials and alot of spiritual warfare. God gave me alot of ideas, I had alot of big plans for Uni-Y to define the value system of the student, to show that serving people is more important than their grades.



I knew was going to come against the spirit over SMU, and well I was thinking, oh crap... I knew that the devil was not going to let it off easily. It's going to be alot of spiritual warfare.



It's only in these times that I realized how strong each and everyone has to be to be in the marketplace. "Greater is He who is in me, than he who is in the world!" comes to life here =)



Sometimes I feel unappreciated doing things in the marketplace. Some people think that I'm just getting busy with the wrong things that I should just focus on what I already have. But I guess that's how it's going to be... No one from the church will see what I'm doing (except my team of course) and sometimes it's exasperating because after all we do have only 24 hours a day, I can't do things as well when I have my commitments in 3 areas. Cg, Uni-Y and SMU school work.



Not that school work bothers me. It's really the least of my concerns. I'm not concerned about grades. But I don't like not finishing and doing what is required of me to be a good student.



But God! I know God.He will make a way for me. I know I stand with a few people beside me only to do culture in SMU, but I believe it will happen. Tough, yes. But I'm not going to listen to a single word from the devil that tells me I cannot do it !



I only can pray for His grace and anointing to be upon me. I can't do this without Him.



To God be the glory. =)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Anatomy of my Desktop

I've been a little overwhelmed with work. I really do feel I'm not cut out for accounting. My favorite subject this semester is Marketing ( out of Marketing, Financial Markets, Income Tax and Corporate Reporting -Analysis of Financial Statements).



Financial Markets (FIIM) is at least not too bad. I think it's pretty interesting to know how the markets work.



But when you ask me about how Section 14 or how FRS 39 affects how this $249,703 is supposed to be reported, or whether is it deductible, I don't really care. Ha.. I don't like to do these. Not my passion.



Well, I'm just suffering from the consequences of bad choices. Never mind. I think I have about 5 mod not so nice mods to take. After that should be fine. Ha.. but I'm definitely NOT going to be an accountant. Unless you want my soul dead.



Anyway, after reading You the Leader by Pst Phil and particularly on the chapter that says "The Leader is Organized" , I felt challenged to be a more organized person. So now here's the anatomy of my desktop:



I only added Sun's Picture today with a: You know you can! (Inspired from the Shanghai Olympics 2007 Video), to remind myself of what she has done and to remind myself that we too, can become people of destiny!

The other are post-it Notes labelled:

Cell group to do list

School work to do list

Uni-Y(CCA) to do list

SBI!(Website) to do list

At the top of each to do list: I put a vision. Everyday when we do something, we gotta know why we're doing it, so the vision kinda reminds me of where I'm headed so that 1. What I'm doing makes sense 2. I can decide what is useful and what's not.

Important things to remember: Generally revelations to remind me. The one you see in BOLD says: " IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!". A reminder not to be so selfish and self-centered.

Things to do today: At the beginning of the day, I'll put a list of things I want to be done by the day ( not successful all the time tho)

Today's schedule: This is my things to do from 8am to 12am. I'll put the things to do in the time I want to do them. ( still trying to follow exactly to the dot, getting there la)

Misc to do list: General things to do.


On the right side of the desktop is the list of things to do for the week. It's a program that is a calender-like thing, so I can forecast my stuff for the week.




On the top left hand corner is 4 excel files:
SMU Personal Adminstration: My course progression planning and my accumulated GPA

Website Adminstration: Income Statement and Timeline of Things to Do for my Website

Personal Expenditure: Daily Expenditure Sheet and Monthly Personal Income Statement

Life Adminstration: Goals for life and this year classified into various areas ( Spiritual, Health, Material, Financial, etc)


Haha.. it might seem a little overwhelming and a little extreme for some people. But I think it's good. It keeps my life in order and so the saying goes, those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

Chance favors the prepared.=)


Ha.. okay, anyway I'm just needed a little time to relax, so well.. The desktop seemed something interesting to blog about. Ha...

Monday, October 8, 2007

Funny thing to note

My Income Tax professor is Director of Taxes from Deloitte, and he mentioned that he did the tax returns for David Copperfield when he came to Singapore some years back.

David Copperfield said that since he was not here for more than 60 days, he should not be taxable, but under Sec40A of the Income Tax Act it says he has to be taxed at 15%.

I was thinking to myself: This guy can walk through walls, levitate on mid air and perform all kinds of magic, but he can't run from taxes. Ha..the irony.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Superb Sunday=)

This sunday was Vision sharing weekend for our church. It's great to take stock of what CHC is doing in the community and in the mission field in Asia. It's truly an honor to be part of this ...

Sun came to service today! Every time I see her, I remind myself that our sacrifice to God in our youth is never in vain.

Everytime I take a good look at her, I tell myself this: "One day you'll be a person of destiny like Sun. One day you'll stand on the world stage, bring the values and beliefs of the Kingdom into places where no preacher can go. One day you'll be history maker as well!"

Same to all you guys out there. Keep running. Don't stop. Don't look back. Take stock. Redeem the time.

I was just thinking to myself as Pastor Kong was sharing about the various community work that our church leaders are engaged in:
-Sun is doing her humanitarian work in China, building 4 primary schools in the rural parts of China, setting up music schools..
-Pst Tan is in charge of City Harvest Community Services Association, People of Destiny ( a center for Youth at risk), Social Innovations Center( For Social Entrepreurship).
-Pst Derek is in charge MS Care( Multiple Sclerosis)
-Principal Kenny Low is in charge of City Harvest Education Center and O school, a dance school for youth at risk.

And me? I'm in charge of Uni-Y! Haha for all you who don't know, Uni-Y does Community Service, Overseas CIP and Social Entreprise. I tell myself: I must do it as well as my pastors and church leaders! Excellence! Haha v inspired. Although its not in a sense recognized in the church, but it is ministry as to the Lord nonetheless! =)

As the Bible says in Matthew 25:35-36,40
for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.'... ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’

-----
Today they also screened the 'I know I can' video in church; but even though it was like my 6-7th watching the video.. I almost teared again. Ha.. I'm just very touched by the courage and perseverance of these people.

But yet many are rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked—" ( Rev 3:17)

So many people have much more than those in the video, proper working limbs, proper thinking processes, but yet, never had the kind of courage and determination and purpose that those in the video have. Sometimes I do wonder who's better off.

Let's be people of destiny. Let's work on our daily habits. Let's become people of excellence.

Let's not live life like its a Mon,Tue,Wed, Thurs,Fri,Sat,Sun, Mon cycle. The "Sian, it's monday again syndrome.."

Our time more correctly is represented by:" Oct 8 2007, Oct 9 2007, Oct 10 2007,..."
Let's live life like it's never going to turn back again...
-----
And here's a great song by Annabel, called Blue Sky to end it off. Take time to listen to it and let the lyrics soak in. =) We need more songs like this nowadays...




IN EVERY HEARTBEAT
LIES A DREAM OF GREATNESS
AND DEEP INSIDE US
TREASURES UNFOLD
REACHING FOR THE STARS
THAT SHINES ABOVE
I WANNA LIVE MY LIFE FOR ALL ITS WORTH

EVERY SUNRISE
DAWNS A NEW BEGINNING
AND WHEN THE NIGHT COMES
A FIRE BURNS WITHIN
EVERYDAY I LIVE I WANNA GIVE
THE VERY BEST OF ME
SO LET THE DREAMS WITHIN
COME ALIVE

FLYING TO THE BLUE SKY
SOARING HIGH ABOVE
EVERY CLOUD EVERY MOUNTAIN
IS A NEW HORIZON
FLYING TO THE BLUE SKY
REACH FOR SOMETHING MORE
AND THROUGH IT ALL
I WILL STAND TALL
I WON’T GIVE UP
I AM STRONGER THAN BEFORE

I’LL CROSS THE LINE
LEAVE MY FEARS BEHIND
EACH STEP I TAKE
I’LL REACH FOR GREATER HEIGHTS
FOR IN THE END
DESTINY IS IN MY HANDS
THIS IS MY CHANCE
I’LL GIVE THE BEST I CAN

Friday, October 5, 2007

2007 Shanghai Special Olympics Official Song - I Know I Can


Go Sun, you're always my inspiration! =)
And that's to all you out there. You know you can too! No excuses ;)

I'm still alive.

Hi guys, been ages since I blogged ( Last sat). Been busy la. =P

Here's something to keep my viewers around. Ha...

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION . "You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL."If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC." Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC ."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY."Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM ."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE ."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father! "

15. My mother taught me about ENVY ."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOUR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS."Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Random thoughts.

Been a long while since I blogged.

Been busy with school and I'm actually working on a website nowadays. Haha yeah. In the mid-terms.

I don't have midterm exams myself because I have had quizzes earlier in the term.

Hmmm, I hope everyone's been doing fine. I personally am really encouraged because someone we've been reaching out to is very open and excited to come for service. Thanks to my very 'I' Bible school cum SMU module mates, Tianyi, Charlene and Daniel!

Am looking forward for the year ahead. I'm going to take up presidency in my CCA club Uni-Y and looking to impact the marketplace! =)

I think certain areas in my life need to get right, like the most important one, which is getting right with God. Not that I'm off, but living a life like this, it's easy to go off tangent.

I'm really passionate and excited about Uni-Y and my future website nowadays, sometimes even to the point I can't sleep. It feels like it's going to be an exciting time! Can't stop dreaming!

BUT, often need to check myself, because it's easy to go into the flesh, but nonetheless, as I learn and keep learning from Xinhong, to be passionate about everything! Haha.. it's actually quite infectious.

Now's Week 7 of school. Still manageable so far, though I need to catch up with my work a little, but well, it's a never ending workload so why get bothered by it?! Ha..

I'm officialy a 1 year 11 month old Christian today. Ha.. 29 Sept. My second birthday was 29 Oct 2005. Still keeping track. But it's been a great journey. Really have to thank God, for as what the Bible says, He brought me out of darkness into His marvelous light.(1 Peter 2:9).

I feel I've grown quite alot, much has changed. Even closer friends have changed. I guess that's the price of progress; our relationships affect our destiny. One thing I still ask from God, that's wisdom, and more than that, greater presence of Him in my life!

I shared with Xiaohui and Daniel about what happened before I got saved. I think it's quite an interesting and unique story, and I think rather applicable to future business people. I shared with Estelle cos she asked to share my testimony. Ha..

One of the guys from SMU Law Fac actually left CHC to go start his own youth service in his old church. Wow. I'm super impressed, it's been sometime since he left but as I've heard from Daniel and Charlene that he's still really on fire for God. Tsk tsk... Amazing guy. Tho it's a small group now, but God anoints people who step out in faith!

There are certain places in my life that remind me of the past, so I tend to shy away from them. One of them is Choa Chu Kang, Yew Tee area, then BBDC,( which could be a reason why I haven't learnt driving till now. Ha), Suntec tower 2. Horrible memories, but great life lessons learnt.

I shared with Charlene today, she was telling me she didn't know what to wish for on her birthday;I shared with er my birthday wish is always that the people around me would rise to become history makers! Jia you guys!

The road is long, but we'll all in this together! The world doesn't belong to the able, it belongs to the willing!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The Student's Psalm

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk.

He keepeth me from lying down when I should be studying.

He leadeth me besides the water cooler for a study break.

He restores my faith in my study guides.

He leads me to better study habits.
For my grades' sake


Yea, though I walk thru' the valley of borderline grades,


I will not have a nervous breakdown,

For Thou art with me;

My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.

Thou givest me the answers in moments of blankness;

Thou anointst my head with understanding,

My test paper runneth over with questions I recognize.

Surely passing grades and flying colors shall follow meAll the days of examinations;

And I shall not have to dwell in failure
Forever!