Identity

Today I felt the down down feeling again.

The feeling of you-know-not-what, but you're just down all of a sudden.

But after several incidents like it, I sort of guessed what it was: A judgment on my identity.

You know like, sometimes when people say something bad about you, or criticize your actions; you find yourself reacting more than what is rational. Sometimes maybe just a simple comment about your talking style, your personality, your dress sense and the like actually gets to you more than it should.

Your mind doesn't understand why you feel down, but your heart just does.

It's one of those,"I feel crappy today, but I don't know why."

It's a judgment on your identity. You unconsciously take someone's comment on you as a evaluation or judgment of your identity or who you are.

It usually happens when a person is not clear about his/her identity in God. The person takes the comments of another (usually the ones closer hurt more because we usually draw our identity from our family or close friends) as who they really are.

" Your shirt doesn't match your pants." becomes
" I'm a lousy dresser."

" I don't think that's a good idea." becomes
" You're uncreative and have lousy ideas."

" I think the program needs improving." becomes
" You're such a lousy planner."

or the more vicious ones,

" You purposely want to destroying my plans. You're not helping me and you're against me." becomes
" You have a bad heart that wants to sabotage your friends."

That's how some harmless comments get turned into judgments that actually hurt you.

1) Insecure people make you feel insecure about yourself.
It is the nature of an insecure person to want to criticize, blame or pull down others because doing so actually makes them feel more secure. By having weaker or unconsciously trying to discredit those around them actually makes them feel kinda better.

And it's not their fault. They themselves were faced with insecure or abusive people in their youth, causing them to be insecure themselves.

2) Take your judgment to God only
Only allow God to be your judge. In the end, it is God who created you and therefore only He really knows who you are. You derive your spiritual identity through your spiritual Father.

So listen to Him and Him alone, because only He knows who you are really. And take no criticism from others that are not in line with the Word of God.

Remember, while we are imperfect people, our nature, when we were connected to God, was inherently good. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

And anyway, God doesn't judge you for what you've done wrong because there's already forgiveness in Jesus.

And remember that knowing this in our heads and knowing it in our hearts is two entirely different things. We can proclaim it all the time, but it is through knowing our Heavenly Father that we can truly derive this identity.

As a leader, our secure identity in God helps to be able to take criticism postively and move forward, and in days were we make mistakes, we're able to accept our imperfections and improve without feeling too lousy about ourselves. Because as a leader, it's natural that our faults are placed out there for the world to see because we are the ones making alot of decisions.

Our faults are magnified, and subject to alot of scrutiny and inevitably all the people who want to help you will give you ways to improve and all the people who don't like you talk behind your back about how screwed up you are.

Learn to take all these as comments, and only listen to God on matters of identity. Bring these comments and test them against the Word of God. Listen to those in line with the Word, and forget the rest.

But of course, it means alot more time with God. The question of identity is never in the head, but of the heart. When you really get to know your Heavenly Father, that's when your identity becomes as clear as crystal.