Entrepreneur’s Credo

I do not choose to be a common man,
It is my right to be uncommon … if I can,
I seek opportunity … not security.
I do not wish to be a kept citizen.
Humbled and dulled by having the
State look after me.
I want to take the calculated risk;
To dream and to build.
To fail and to succeed.
I refuse to barter incentive for a dole;
I prefer the challenges of life
To the guaranteed existence;
The thrill of fulfillment
To the stale calm of Utopia.
I will not trade freedom for beneficence
Nor my dignity for a handout
I will never cower before any master
Nor bend to any threat.
It is my heritage to stand erect.
Proud and unafraid;
To think and act for myself,
To enjoy the benefit of my creations
And to face the world boldly and say:
This, with God’s help, I have done
All this is what it means
To be an Entrepreneur.

(Excerpt from Common Sense, written in 1776 by Thomas Paine)

I saw this at a colleague's table, and...

above all the nonsense i can say about how unfulfilling work life is, this captures my heart. =)

Amazing passage.

I am

Blogging again at work.

Unemployed cos my colleagues got nothing for me to do at the moment.

Looking forward to lunch =)

If there’s one thing I want to thank this internship for,
It is that it has cultivated a habit for me to wake up at 6am plus to pray before work.

I will grab my garden chair and sit in the middle of the garden and start playing my guitar.

One day in the morning as I was singing I looked up to the sky.

One lone bright light in the sky.

Venus, most likely.

Then suddenly it came to me:

Bright Morning Star.

Wow.

Just one lone bright light in the early morning sky.

Beautiful.

Today morning I woke up looking at the bright morning star too, and I composed a song to God in 30 mins! Haha. All before work!

And I saw the early morning moon in its perfect roundness, not too distant from the ground.

Spectacular.

One day I shall take a picture of it, maybe tmr.

To me, it’s God’s treat for me for waking up early in the morning and honoring Him the first thing in the morning. Ha..

True Beauty

At a certain point during the week,

Feeling down again.

Tired.

Then I thought of Mel again.

"When I'm lonely, I'll write on my personal diary about my thoughts and feelings."

Maybe its a form of release for her. I might just try it.

There's something about Mel's life that really attracts me. The simplicity of it all.

Family, boyfriend, a few close friends, settled in a small town in Papua New Guinea managing her dad's business. No complicated life. No complicated relationships.

The peace. Oh..

Yet I know what I seek is not in her, but something beyond.
Beauty beyond the beauty.
The longing beyond the longing.

A longing for... Eden.

But the battle is not done.
As he looks over the hills,
He sees,

There is much to conquer,
much to fight for.

The day is not done.
It will be awhile,

Before I come home.

I'm so tired; refresh me O' God.
The battle is not the end,
but the end is not without the battle.

Show me Your glory O' God.
Show me Your Beauty.

Then He answered:

(In conversation w friends) "I'm looking for her type of girl. A lady who is strong, but with feminine strength"

And then surprise, she shows up.

"Oh hey, we were just talking about you."

As I was observing her, poetry rose up in my heart.

Oh, your eyes of compassion,
they melt very depths of my heart.

Do not smile no more,
For my heart grows faint.

Let me stay,
Let me stay just a little longer.
Just a moment more.

" I think I know what you're talking about...

It's her eyes," friend tells me.

"No.. it's more than... " ( ...that, her eyes are a window to her soul.)
Anyway I couldn't say that coz she was just opposite. lol.

Siggghhhh.

Wow.. my heart doesn't feel so tired anymore.

Rest.

I could just sit there forever just appreciating her.

True beauty, like the flowers of the wild,
beg to be untouched, and simply to be appreciated.

In contrast, the beauty that the world potrays,
invokes lust, invokes a desire to take. To keep it for oneself.

True beauty invites appreciation. Invites the soul to want to fight for it, to stand up for it, and in my case, invites the soul to rest.

It invites the heart to want to give.

Siiigggghhh.

And don't be mistaken, I'm not in love. Haha.

As I laid down on my bed, I felt God gently remind me: That is my answer to you.

Wow.

Open door.

I met Eunice Olsen on Tuesday at the YMCA AGM.

I was introduced by Yenpeng to her after the whole AGM. I was slightly taken aback by her ‘bubbliness’. She wasn’t what I thought she was: a serious, mature lady with a kind of air around her.

No leh. She was just a bubbly, talkative lady who just had a lot to talk about. So much so that I felt like the most serious person around her. Ha…

“ Hi Eunice, Yihan here is from Uni-Y, he wants you to help him.”

“ Oh, no no.. seriously I don’t know how you can help me as of now.”

“Oh it’s okay la, take contact first, and talk later!” (with a tinge of singlish)
*She proceeds to take my notebook from me and write down her hp number.*

That’s very graceful of her. Ha.

So then I smsed her to pass her my contact later on..

“Hey Eunice, I’m Yihan here…”

I’m thinking, my goodness. Never in my life, would I think I’ll be doing this.

“Hey Eunice???” Omigosh.

Hahaha…

But I thank God for this meeting, thank God that I stayed on even though I felt really tired after work and just wanted to go home. I just felt God say, “ This is the beginning of many.”

Thank God for the open door.

Anyway, I thought of a few ways I could get her help. Firstly to officiate the Uni-Y Freshmen Orientation Camp! Get her to be the guest of honour!! Heh.

Woohoo. =)

Sometimes when I run the ministry, I wonder if it all is worth it.

But when I read her reply to my sms, I just smiled and thought,

You know, It’s worth it.

Sometimes, that one word of encouragement makes all the sacrifice worthwhile.

We had an tremendous manhood conference today! With no less than the man of God..

Mr Lee Xinhong to preach!!

Haha.

Xinhong, you're seriously one of the best cgl preachers I've seen among so many. You should really start a manhood ministry!

And he laid hands on me twice. Powerful man. The anointing really flowed. I haven't gotten touched with such power for a very long time liao!

I think the last message he preached about "Your word is your bond" was the best. I really feel challenged to become a man of my word.

"Your word is as good as gold!" says the man of God.

;)

-----------

And Chew Yan is coming to my department to work next monday. Praise the Lord.

Last Tuesday when I found out, I was jumping up and down in my heart already. Haha.

When she walks into office next monday, the first thing I'll do is to shout " CHHHHHEEEEEWWW YAANNNNNN"

Really delighted that I have company, especially such a lovely sister like her.

Of past entries

I was spending some of my time yesterday reading through my past blog entries of my previous blog which I chose to take down.

I must say: I was SOOOO in love with the Word the last time. Haha. The way I wrote my blogs were a little well... overbearing on my friends who would read it. Alot of scriptures! and alot of 'truths'. My goodness. There'll be a few lines of what I wanted to say, and then a scripture, and then more.

I even quoted verses that I totally am unfamiliar now. Haha.

(Oh no, what happened to me now? No verses to quote! Must repent! Ha. just kidding.)

But I could tell I was really in love with His word that time, but when I read it, I realized there were somethings that I believed wrongly, but I sorta had greater understanding.

It's been only 2 years since, but really, I sense alot of change. No. 1: I think 2years of blogging have helped me write better, for one thing. Haha.

And I'm taking life more easily now, I noticed. Where the Spirit of God is, there is liberty! Those whom the Son sets free, are free indeed!

There was an entry that caught my attention, in 25 Aug 2006:

Today on the way to cell group at Bedok, I took the train with Wil and had dinner with him at the Bedok market. Wil brought something to my attention, which though I already knew.

He told me that alot of people don't believe I have the capability to lead a team for any major projects.

Now that, I wasn't too concerned, because I sorta already knew what most people were thinking. And well, I believed that even if I really couldn't lead, I would have to live with it, because that's who I am, and I don't have to prove otherwise to people.


I read it, and smiled.

We forgot one thing:

The God factor.

Sad

In the day of trouble,
You cover me;

In the secret place of refuge
Lord I will sing.

I feel sad.

At least she has a fellowship to confide in; a fellowship to fall back on.

I don’t.

I didn’t want to say it, but then what? I watch one by one of them walking away.

Have I done wrong?

Sometimes I wonder if I can stand alone.

There’s sometimes no one to turn to.

Yet fellowship is so important if I want to hold this thing together.

I can’t just share my burdens to the people I lead. I’m there to offer my strength, not take it.

Go to God.

Yeah, I always do.

But God made us for fellowship with men as well.

Fellowships of the heart.

I want a fellowship of men. Not boys. Men. I thought to myself as I watched the last Samurai charge in The Last Samurai.

Men who are of good courage; men who fight to the death.

“Show me how he died..”

“No, I will show you how he lived.”

My heart was stirred, almost to tears.

God, I want someone like that in my life.

Someone to show me how to live, O’ Lord.

Without a fellowship, do I then step back from my ministry in school? I can’t sustain myself. I cannot stand alone.

No, then the devil will win. That’s what he wants me to do: turn back and retreat.

I can’t turn my back. But I want to go away for a while.

I think of Sorong in Papua New Guinea, the place where Mel is going. I dream of myself at the edge of a cliff, overlooking a lush green expanse of trees. And in the distance, I see great mountains, where clouds cover the peak.

“Are there tigers or bears in the forest there?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been there, only once when I was young.”

“If I go into the forest there and get killed then how. Maybe I’ll just leave my valuables with you at your hotel.” But then tigers and bears don’t kill for money. Oh well.

*A smile and a giggle*

“One day I’ll go and find you, and then I’ll go trekking in the forest, and maybe to the mountains far away. Is it expensive to get there?”

“Yeah, the domestic flight is about $400.”

“Okay, then you let me stay at your hotel for free so that I don’t have to pay for accommodation k? Haha.”

“Oh, it’s still under renovation now..”

…

I need to find my heart back.

I don’t think I’ll be able to find it by sitting in front of the computer churning out reports and slides 830am to 530 pm daily.

Is this the kind of life I want?

One week. Fine. Two weeks. Eh.

But 1 year?

One year of TGIF and Monday Blues?

There must be something more.

…

Teach me how to live, O’ Lord
In Your righteousness.

Oh, to Charis, thanks for always being there to listen to me. I think above everyone else, you've heard from me the most.

But I don’t want to always ‘take’ from you in this friendship. I can’t always do that to you and you only.

Not fair la. I want to give too. =)

Bye Mel

Today's the last day I'm seeing one of my closer friends: Meliana.

Maybe I shall spend a little time talking about this absolutely beautiful lady. =)

If there was a phrase to describe her: Proverbs 31 Lady!

And I don't think I'm stretching it.



For a start, in her time here in Singapore, she takes care of an apartment herself, so she does the cleaning of the house, sweeping the floor la, ironing the clothes, cooking meals, buy groceries and basically everything you need to mantain a house in tip top condition.

And she's so pretty!..

That's a big wow already. Okay, let's see...

She's going back home to manage a part of her dad's business, alone! Power! Haha. I guess I won't share too much in case she doesn't want people to know about this part.

In my words, a "perfect wife"! Ha..

Confirm Proverbs 31! lol.

But of course there's always more than just knowing how to do all these. It's funny how I only realized it today, after writing a letter to her before she left...

She's really beautiful from the soul.

The beauty of a lady begins from the soul, and so it reflects in the physical in turn.

I guess I can take this time to talk a little about what I learnt about the feminine soul recently. Haha.

True beauty is at rest.. Truthfully, there are some women I stay around with that are not at rest. How would you know? Well, I can sense it. Any guy can sense it. You can sense whether a lady is 'at rest' in her heart, or she is striving.

And heart at rest invites the guy to be secure as well. Beside a true lady, a guy will never feel insecure, but he will be invited to be who he is.

That's one thing about Mel that I sensed, but never really articulated till last night while writing my letter.

You can be who you are with her.

There are really some women that cause me to be restless in my heart. I don't know why, but from its supposed to be, a heart at strive causes this restlessness. Her restlessness causes the guy to be insecure, uncertain and unable to play his part.

But Mel isn't like that. I AM myself with her.

She's not a complicated lady. Simple. When I share my heart with her, I don't have to worry about, erm.. will she go and gossip? Will she think of me differently and stuff? That's one of the reasons I'm not afraid to be myself.

She's not a lady given to idle chatter. My heart is safe with her.

And it was only today that I got this in my car: If guys were men, would girls be ladies?

And surprisingly, I was reading this article on the newspaper about Singaporean women finding men not eligible and stuff.

And I've been pondering this problem for a long time: Why do the men not rise up in church?

Then my answer: Would you fight as a lady?

There is power in fighting as a lady, and I was writing to Mel in one of the letters:" Queen Esther of the Bible caused the king to want to give up half his kingdom for her. One day you'll cause a king to give up half his kingdom for your favour!"

Amen. She will.

Queen Esther was a woman who fought like a lady. And a powerful one she is.

But I'm sad to say, many women today fight like men. Strive is the word to put it. I cannot pinpoint any certain behaviors to it, but I think you yourself would be able to tell the difference. A girl who fights like a guy: Controlling, Aggressive, Manipulative.

And then when you want to play the guy, would it be any surprise any guy doesn't rise up? You're already doing his job. Then you're saying he doesn't do anything as the man? Simple, you already played the man.

Girls who fight like guys are not attractive, simply because they hinder guys from becoming real men. That's why guys say " I don't feel I can play the man in the r'ship." Then the girls say it coz guys just plain don't grow up.

Well both are right. It's a chicken and egg thing. Unless the guys rise up to be ready to fight for the girl, the girls cannot be vulnerable and play their part. But while the ladies continue striving and playing the part of the man, the guys cannot rise up.

Real beauty allows herself to be vulnerable, and it invites men to play the part of the man. It arouses him to " Yes, M'lady, I will fight the dragon for you. You wait for me."

Ha... Funny la, but it goes back to your heart.

You know it's true. Why do you think some fairy tales last the ages?

Mel's like that. She may not become a cell group leader, or a super evangelist, but she's a lady through and through.

And I'm not advocating that women should be weak or that they should not work. Nope. Queen Esther was one courageous and tough lady. It took alot of strength of character to do what she did.

But she fought like a woman.

And if you think that's weak, consider this: It would have taken hundreds of thousands of warriors or fighters to win even 1/2 of the Persian kingdom!

Blood shed. Deaths.

But it took only 1 lady to achieve the same.

If you think femininity is weak, think again!

Mel, I really think someday you'll do just that. Take 1/2 of someone's kingdom. Haha.

For those who don't know the Bible, think Arwen from the Lord of the Rings.

A warrior princess, but a princess nonetheless.

I'm really going to miss Mel. There's nothing romantic about our friendship, but truth of the matter, true beauty is attractive to any guy's soul.

Ladies: You are the image of the beauty and mercy of our Lord.

You're the crown of all creation. The pinnacle. The finishing touch. God saved the best for the last. ;)

Next to the beauty of the Lord, there's nothing else in creation that compares to your beauty. That's why guys like you so much. lol.

Find your heart back in God. Allow God to heal that part of you that was lost because men in your life didn't fight for you. Let God be your lover.

Well guys, if you are considering her, you can drop it. She's taken. HAHA.



Bye Mel, I'm going to miss you =)

Sigh.