Revelation

Today Vincent gave me a revelation.

1.5 hours before my Corporate Reporting test, I was in front of my computer playing some mini games.

"Doing your website?" He asked from the other side.

"No. Playing games."

Revelation. Ha i realized I really could have been doing my website instead of wasting my time playing games. Who says that just because your test is 1.5 hours away you cannot be doing anything else but study.

I was after all.. playing games. Ha..

But well, I guess it went pretty okay. Got a few careless mistakes cos I had kinda of headache when I stepped into the seminar room. Couldn't do it with a clear mind. Might be coz its at 12 pm and I didn't eat my lunch before that. So abit kinda cannot concentrate.

But I realized that for me, I dunno about the rest, but when tests come, I tend to lock myself in this mental prison. That tells me. No you got a test, you aren't supposed to be doing anything else. You got a test. You got a test.

So what! I'm going to do whatever I wanna do. Balanced with studying of course.

Pardon my mention of studies so much. Ha. I really am trying to figure everything out. How to put God first. How to give all the worries, stress, frustration to God. It's one thing to say it, it's totally another to live it. What practical actions can I take to give everything to God.

I gotta break out of this mental model ( according to Xinhong's lingo) or this mental prison. In the end, most of my time isn't spent studying. I probably need like to study 1 day before, look at the past year papers to do reasonably well. I should leave it as that, instead of thinking about it for the whole week. Not doing much of anything else productive. I end up playing computer as a 'form of relaxation'.

In the end, the test is done. Life goes on. I shouldn't let it affect me so much. God help.

I'll do better next time. ( in handling this, not the grades. Ha)